Happy Hump Day, horndogs. Because the Internet is really starting to piss me off, this week I took a look at some of the truly awful sex advice floating around out there to show you why, when it comes to “expert” advice, taking it with a single grain of salt… Read more »

Hey, Hump Day readers. I don’t know about you all, but I can already tell what my favorite class is going to be this semester: Gender and Reproductive and Sexual Health. I am feeling inspired. Lately I’m not as turned on by having sex with my girlfriend. She’s amazingly sexy,… Read more »

Happy Hump Day! Welcome back to another semester of pillow talk from your two favorite sex columnists on campus. We’ve got some crazy stuff planned for this semester, so be sure to check in every Wednesday to see what we’ve got in store. This week, to answer some of our… Read more »

Hey there, Hump Day readers! Before we get to your questions for this week, here are the winning sexy ways to ask for consent, as promised: “I’ll trade you your consent for my cock.”“Hey, nice shoes; wanna fuck?” “I’m already lost in your eyes; can I get lost in your body?”Good… Read more »

Happy Hump Day, Badgers! Over the course of the semester, Sam and I have received tons of questions about fetishes. You’ve asked us about everything from foot fetishes to leather fetishes, from butt fetishes to the fetishes that you think are too taboo to even name. You want to know… Read more »

Happy early World AIDS Day! Remember to get yourself tested once every six months if you have multiple partners and once a year if you’re monogamous. The sixth floor of University Health Services will be offering free walk-in HIV tests all day long Dec. 1. Y’all had some rad follow-up… Read more »

Maybe you’ve been to an adult sex shop before; late at night, with a couple of your friends, wandering through row upon row of multicolored sex toys, scandalous lingerie, spermicidal lube and penis-shaped cake pans. If you’re anything like me, you’ve stopped in front of a shelf of unrecognizable objects… Read more »

I want to share a personal experience with you all: During a recent hook-up, something startling happened. The other person asked me for my consent at every step of the way, and I mean every step. “Can I take your shirt off now?” “Do you like having your neck kissed?”… Read more »

This week, I want to answer some of your questions about sex and health. Don’t worry; I am not going to preach at you. This ain’t your fourth grade puberty lesson. Are there any health benefits to sex besides just burning calories? Absolutely! First off, you are right to bring… Read more »

Happy Halloween! Pick up some free safer sex supplies around campus this week before beginning your Halloween festivities. Here is some sex Q&A to help you out for the weekend. I know I am supposed to ask for consent. But how do I ask without being awkward? Great question! Consent… Read more »

It’s 2:36 in the morning, and the chick working the desk at College Library is literally trying to burn a hole through me with her eyes. Maybe it’s because I’m blasting porn on my laptop and asking a group of freshman guys what makes this scene better than the last… Read more »

Hey hot stuffs. I’m determined to learn how to deep throat. Help! It’s all about angles. Throats curve down, so whatever you’re going to be shoving down there also has to curve down. Ergo, if you’re handling an upwardly curved penis, you’ll have to get creative. Sixty-nining (deep-throater on top)… Read more »

Welcome back, my little hornballs. This week, I’m going to answer questions about things you want to try, but are feeling a little too hesitant to go through with. I’ll help guide you through the best ways to go about them and even give you some tips and tricks of… Read more »

Hey there curious kinksters. This week, let’s explore the joys of bondage, discipline, dominance, submission and sadomasochism. Keep in mind there’s no hard-and-fast definition of “kinky.” To some, using a pair of fuzzy handcuffs is the kinkiest, hottest, most out-there thing they want to try. Others think, “Been there, done… Read more »

Happy Hump Day, my sexy little Badger babies. This week’s theme is simple: I’m answering 50 of your random sex questions in 10 words or less. Here we go. Sometimes when I orgasm, I get tingly in my arms and legs, not just in my genitals. Is this normal? Normal and wonderful,… Read more »

I JUST HAD SEX! And it felt so good. Welcome, fellow Badgers, to a brand new year of the Hump Day column! We’re your new pair of nympho columnists and we’re ready to get hot and heavy. This year, you can expect to hear from us about everything from fetishes… Read more »

Whenever I tell strangers I am a sex educator, 99 percent of them give me a look of shock. Some people restate the question, as if they didn’t hear me correctly the first time. Many people smile politely and quickly change the subject. Yet the great majority proceed to ask… Read more »

Raise your hand if you’re about to graduate. Okay, now raise your hand if you’re scared. And yeah, even a little scared counts. If you’re a soon-to-be grad, chances are you’ve experienced Sinking Feeling #1: “Wait, it’s over?” But while leaving Madison comes as a relief for some people and… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, I’ve started seeing a girl and after a couple of dates, she told me she was a virgin. I think that’s hot, but I kind of don’t believe her. She’s almost 22. So I guess my question to you is: How do you know if a girl… Read more »

Scenario: You’re in your room with the person you’re hooking up with/dating/ambiguously “seeing,” and you think to yourself, “Wow, some music would really spice things up right now.” Looking to get down, you grab your laptop and wait for iTunes to load, but when you start browsing through your playlists… Read more »

Dear Hump Day,Recently, it has sadly come to my attention that a very large majority of my close girlfriends have never, not once, experienced orgasm. When I found this out, I was in conversation with three girls, all of whom had been in serious and loving relationships for at least… Read more »

Myth: There’s a set of unspoken rules 20-something guys and girls are expected to follow when texting each other. They vary by setting and social circle, but a few guidelines remain pretty consistent.   1. When physical contact is the ultimate goal, the guy should always be the first to text.… Read more »

Dear Humpday, Every year my mom goes through the house to find things to sell at her annual garage sale. And every year she calls me before she sells any of the stuff to double check if I still want anything. Most of the time I don’t, but there are… Read more »

Spring Break Romance: The Protocol If you know me — or if you read this column — you’ve probably never thought, “Wow, that Rachel Dickens is a really concise girl.” My stories are long winded, and people I do and don’t know frequently tell me to stop talking, so as… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, I’m nearing the end of my final semester here at UW and I have spent the last two years single, and this late in the game I’ve decided not to go looking for a relationship that will in all likelihood end in a couple months when I graduate. I’ve… Read more »

I’ve been avoiding writing the “I’m a second-semester senior” column for a while now, and up until recently I’ve held true to the following justification: I have anxiety about Public Displays of Depression (PDD: a real thing as of roughly 30 seconds ago), and I really don’t like being negative.… Read more »

How many pairs of shoes do you have? How about sweaters? Are they all the same color? The same style? Probably not. Like most Americans, we enjoy some variety. Why not do the same with the condoms we wear when we play with the pretty blonde boy at Memorial Library? There… Read more »

Valentine’s Day: Some of us love it, some of us can’t stand it and some of us just eat chocolate. But personal opinions aside, there’s one thing that’s certain. Whether you’re in fourth grade and wondering who’s going to get the most Bieber-themed valentines at your class party (SO to… Read more »

Dear Humpday,My girlfriend and I have been participating with a group of friends who have lingerie, swimsuit and dare parties. It’s all been relatively innocent up until the last party when some people hooked up with others. All involved at the party were OK with what happened, but our question… Read more »

“No Strings Attached:” Sappy, hilarious and really awesome if you’re a) female and b) into strangely realistic sex scenes starring hot people. But aside from the obvious upsides, Portman and Kutcher’s new chick flick made me reconsider how we “young people” handle non-relationships in a setting as atypical as college.… Read more »

How would you respond if someone — your best friend, a parent, or even that guy you always see outside Chipotle — approached you and said this: “I have 2011 all figured out. I’m not going to spend money on anything I don’t need, I’m only going to go out… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, My GF and I are ready for the next level (past intense make-outs), but there’s some things I’m worried about. First, I’d like to know how far she has gone in the past, so I can gauge what she will be comfortable with and how slow I… Read more »

This morning at Starbucks I gave the cashier $10 in singles when my total was $6.33 and told her to “keep the change.” And the thing is, it wasn’t an unnecessarily large tip — I’m just really, really bad at math. I’m talking worse-than-Lindsay Lohan-purposely-failing-her-calc-tests-to-get-Aaron-Samuels’-attention-in-“Mean-Girls” caliber bad. That being said,… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, A friend of mine just told me about the female condom. And there is supposedly another condom that you only use for oral sex. I don’t get it. Why use them? Are they effective? And are male condoms all the same? Seeking Information Lacking About Sex… Read more »

Badgers are a quirky bunch. For a group that’s half Christian and of which more than a fifth have possibly never experienced an orgasm, a surprisingly high number have used food erotically and had sex with relatives. Or maybe this is not that weird. Perhaps this is just human nature,… Read more »

You’re probably interested in sex, but how much do you really know about it? We attend a university of some of the most intelligent people in the region and obviously enjoy unprecedented access to information. But, judging by the popularity of the Herald’s weekly Hump Day columns and the often… Read more »

When you get to know someone well enough, you start noticing things that make them significantly less normal than you thought – things like “does laundry once a year” or “doesn’t wear underwear.” For my friends and I, many of these quirks pertain to our dating/hooking up/relationship behaviors, and I’m… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, It’s been about three months since I’ve been dating a guy, and he’s awesome in bed. The only problem is, he takes Viagra and some other pills that prevent him from cumming early. I’m worried about his health and our future, and I’m looking for a natural… Read more »

A wise man once said, “We’ve got dates with two of the rarest roses!” It happened on “Jersey Shore,” as do most quotable TV moments these days, and it was brought to us by the smooth-talking, questionably coiffed DJ Pauly D, who’s nice-guy charm always seems to land him the… Read more »

Dear Humpday, I have a new girlfriend and we are starting to fool around. She’s kind of shy in bed. And I really like to be tied up and ridden (found that out with my last girlfriend). How do I bring that up without freaking her out? Help Adventurous Guy… Read more »

Due to the lack of fresh questions from you, dear readers, I’ve decided to take on a challenge that my roommate is about to face: In November, her current boyfriend will be heading off to the vast and desolate wasteland of Oklahoma, where he will begin over three years of… Read more »

I’d like to start this week’s column with a short questionnaire for everyone to ponder. Here goes: What do the following things have in common? Tattoos that say “Mom” Crying after sex Throwing up on someone’s dick mid-fellatio Appearing in a database of registered sex offenders While this could easily… Read more »

If you are an avid Hump Day reader, you may remember the porn review that Suzy Baker and I wrote over a year and a half back. One reader expressed dissatisfaction with the article and wanted to know: “How many people watch porn? Who watches porn? What kind of porn… Read more »

Curiously familiar hypothetical situation: You’re at a bar with your friends when you spot a guy you recently hooked up with. You’re feeling indifferent about him, but you wouldn’t be opposed to giving it another go. You think, “Ehh, no need to say ‘Hi’ right away.” Twenty minutes later, he… Read more »

Dear Hump Day,My boyfriend and I have been talking about trying out a sex toy. We’ve never used one before. What would you recommend? — A Naughty New Addition Oh ANNA! The choices! It’s like being a kid again, but better because you don’t need to beg your parents to… Read more »

A shout out to my fellow Badgers and Hump Day fans! My name is Allie Eggers, and I’m your new Hump Day guest columnist. I’m a senior majoring in English and communication arts. Besides my interest in all things sex, I sing and I dabble a bit on the piano… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, I start at UW in the fall. I’m a little nervous. Is college dating different? Some of my friends are pretty experienced, but I still haven’t met the one. I’m no prude… but what can I expect? Shy, Expectant And Nervous Dear SEAN, You have every right… Read more »

Here at The Badger Herald, we love sex. We love to have it, read about it and disturbingly enough we even love to share about it. Therefore, since we have been holding in our sex stories and advice to the point of explosion for two semesters now, we collectively made… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, My boyfriend and I have decided not to have sex until marriage. However, we still have fun fooling around. What are some good ways to stimulate a female orgasm without having sex? Thanks, Waiting for sex, but wanting to come! Dear WFS/WTC, Your question is a great… Read more »

Because humpday@badgerherald is lacking fresh questions this week, I decided to pull a suggestion from the anonymous online comment boards instead: This is a sorry excuse for a sex column…. If I don’t have a boner by the time I am done reading the hump day section, then you as… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, You recently wrote about the etiquette for random hookups and one-night stands. But I was wondering, what’s the proper way to bring up sex with a new girlfriend while also making sure we don’t move too fast and ruin the relationship? Taking It Slow Dear TIS, In… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, So everyone knows that birth control is 99.7 percent effective with perfect use, 92 percent with average use, condoms are 98 percent blah, blah, blah. But what I’m wondering is: What does this actually mean? The best I can come up with is that with perfect use… Read more »

Hey Hump Day columnists, I am a nice girl. I am nice to girls and guys alike, but I frequently run into the problem where guys interpret my politeness and interest in the conversation as something more than I mean it to be. How can I make it clear that… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, I’ve had hookups before, but things have always been awkward with the guy the next morning. So here’s my question: What’s the etiquette of a hookup? It seems like guys always want to stick around and cuddle because they think girls like it, but sometimes I just… Read more »

Dear Humpday, What are some ways to last longer in bed? I heard Tantra is one way, but how do you do that? Always Lasts Longer, Ends Never Hello ALLEN, People typically want to have sex longer, equating increase in the length of time in bed to greater satisfaction. That… Read more »

Hola to y’all from sunny Puerto Rico. Taking an early spring break, I find myself surrounded by beautiful people from all over the world. My commentary could mirror that of a cheesy ’90s TV beach dramedy, but for your consideration I will limit myself to say that I’m a lucky… Read more »

I have a question that I would love for the sex team to answer for me. I am trying to discover the best approach for making anal sex sound appealing to my lady. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the vagina, but every now and then I wouldn’t… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, I would appreciate (as would most male readers out there in Badgerville) an article on the art of cunnilingus, but more importantly, how to avoid the act altogether, or what to do if your special lady friend has a problem with “grooming.” Not saying mine does, but… Read more »

Dear Hump Day, Guys love blowjobs. It’s no lie. But I have a bad gag reflex and can’t stand the thought of swallowing. Is there anything I can do to train myself to do it? Love, G.A.G. For those of us who weren’t born to deep throat, giving head can… Read more »

Hump Day, My girlfriend just came back from the doctor. She says she has HPV and that I probably gave it to her (I was her first). I don’t have any symptoms. How do I check if I have HPV? Her doctor also told her to call other people… Read more »

So… I have a question that’s not exactly about sex, but has a lot to do with it. The whole freshman 15 thing has really impacted my chances of getting some. I wear more layers than my friends at parties to cover it up and look good, but I… Read more »

Hello Badger Herald, I don’t know if this question lands in your field of expertise, but I thought I’d try you. I am in a long-distance relationship, and there’s no doubt I love my boyfriend. I know I wouldn’t be happy with anyone else. But on certain days, I… Read more »

Welcome back, Hump Day Aficionados! After a month-long hiatus, your trusted sexperts are fired-up and ready to answer your deepest, most tantalizing questions with all the wisdom you know we got goin’ on. In honor of the new semester, we thought it necessary to kick things off with a… Read more »