From the “you just can’t this stuff up” file…. A woman wrote to the manners and morals advice column (written by someone calling herself ‘Prudence’) at Slate.com asking guidance about her boyfriend. The problem? He is sexually aroused by death metal. Yes, this particular guy is better in bed when there’s Cannibal Corpse in the background than not, according to his girlfriend. She apparently doesn’t really care for that type of music (few do). But what is most troublesome for her are the “awful themes,” and that it “disturbs [her] that a seemingly well-adjusted man in his 30s [sic] is aroused by torture fantasies set to music.” She ends the inquiry with, “Am I being oversensitive about this?” Prudence’s advice? “As you describe it, you get through these sessions by trying to disassociate yourself from what is going on. This does not sound like a formula for sustained intimacy. ” Seems reasonble to me. The one issue that I have both with the question and resulting advice is the fact that both the girlfriend and Prudence both overstate the extent to which death metal discusses “female dismemberment” or “horrendous misogynistic violence” in its lyrics. True, that is one subject about which many death metal hands have written - Cannibal Corpse included - but it’s not the only subject. Examples abound, with the likes of Opeth who discuss themes like lost love, or Cattle Decapitation whose lyrics are mainly PETA- and Al Gore-friendly ideals. This girlfriend also takes issue with the sound, which she describes as “blasting noise with deranged growls and shrieks.” But from her letter, her main complaint is the lyrical content. So, it was rather lazy of Prudence to just assume that this anonymous person’s description of Cannibal Corpse’s lyrical content (used synecdochically here) was correct. Really, the girlfriend could ask her boyfriend to either use an iPod (Prudence jokingly suggests that the girl use one, which is absurd) or to just simply play death metal songs that don’t discuss violence against those with XX chromosomes. Maybe I should have an advice column…

No, Halloween didn’t come early this year. The custom-clad troupes you may have seen in the State Street area this weekend were actually celebrating Madison’s second annual GeeK.Kon, the city’s very own, yet little, convention to embrace and rejoice over all things geeky, from anime and sci-fi to gaming miniatures and video gaming.

Hosted yet again in the labyrinthine Humanities building, the free convention welcomed geeks of all ages united by their avid fandom, and perhaps their fear of sunlight. Offering a variety of events in individual classrooms or lecture halls such as panels with professionals of the industry, media viewings, DDR and RockBand tournaments, amateur artist stands and various vendors selling all sorts of geeky paraphernalia, GeeK.Kon kept its gatherers occupied and pleased. (I personally snagged a choose-your-own-adventure-book from the 80s for a cool dollar.)

But by and large the biggest appeal of GeeK.Kon is the attendees themselves. Strangely enough, you’ll actually feel out of place if you’re not wearing a wig, cape or any sort costume otherwise. In addition to the brochure of events, the information stand really ought to have mini-encyclopedias picturing who everyone is dressed up as and what show or game they’re from, though the tacit understanding is that you probably already know, or ought to know, if you’re attending. Stores and screenings no doubt offer entertainment, but the true fun comes from seeing casts of cosplayers (fans dressed up in costumes, playing as that character) as they acted out skits, strutted through the masquerade, and simply reveled in the glorious, geeky levity of it all, demanding to take pictures of each other. But fear not you “regular people”— while you might get looked at askance for not being in costume, GeeK.Kon welcomes people of all levels of geekiness to enjoy the various events.

Oh, and did I mention sword-fighting in the Humanities courtyard? Yeah, pretty awesome stuff.

So while GeeK.Kon ‘08 has come to its geeky end, the fledgling convention saw a much larger draw this year, marking good chances of it coming again in 2009.

Yes, that is a possibility if the rest of the current incarnation of Led Zeppelin (Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and Jason Bonham, son of John) doesn’t get a “yes” as to whether or not Robert Plant wants to tour with them. Apparently, the rest of the band has been rehearsing with “stand-in vocalists” including an unnamed American who “has been so impressive the other band members are confident they could hit the road next year WITHOUT their iconic frontman,” according to UK’s The Sun.

Zep without Plant. Yeah, that’s wrong on more than one level. Plant is just not that easily replaced. Really, he can’t be replaced at all. Go listen to How the West Was Won or watch the double DVD live set if you don’t think so.

Zep protected its legendary status by not reuniting for years and years out of respect for the fans (and, perhaps, Bonzo). Now, they suggest that Led Zeppelin can be Led Zeppelin without THE frontman.

Um, no.

UPDATE: Today (9/26/08), The Sun is reporting that Plant has since agreed to do a 2009 summer reunion tour with the remaining Zepp members. Under the ridiculous headline, “Led Yep,” The Sun states that the “serious” threat of Jimmy and Co. was the reason that Plan gave in.

Even if the ticket price for a Zep show next year is my right hand I’m so there.

All together now: There’s a lady who’s sure…

UPDATE 2: 9/29 The “Rob Plant is going to tour with Zep” statement is a rumor….sigh

Story by Roland Nimis

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down, Thao Nguyen’s folk-rock-pop band from San Francisco, plays a fun show that is nothing you are dying to tell your friends about. Nguyen took the stage at Caf� Montmartre late Saturday night to a fairly crowded house with an arch-top guitar that was as big as she is. She had no trouble handling it, though, with her uncanny ability to play both lead and rhythm while she wailed away with lyrics that were tricky to discern.

She began the set accompanied by a bassist and drummer. Midway through the set, though, she brought up her friend Mary to add ukulele to the already eccentric, upbeat sound. The drums mutated throughout the night as the percussionist, Willis Thompson, used brushes, maraca, and a tambourine for drum sticks. He also dressed the cymbals with metal beads and what looked like bean bags. The rhythms made the crowd “clap”-happy, and I was unconciously stomping my foot till it hurt.

The reason I will not be pushing Thao’s album to passers-by is that they aren’t anything different. They are inoffensive to a fault, and the boldest part about them is their lengthy name. They are a band that kept my attention but would not get me to pay top dollar.

Story by Roland Nimis

Screamin’ Cyn Cyn & The Pons sings songs full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. They bill themselves as theatrical punk and the fabrication is all too transparent.

The singer and keyboardist, Shane O’Brien, dressed in what looked like a loose leotard, complete with big bows on his headband and waist, all covered in glitter and featuring a Marilyn Monroe tattoo. He stared and pointed at particular audience members with desperate eyes, demanding to be loved. He traipsed through a crowd that was not nearly as excited as he was to hear the punk-by-numbers SCC&TP played for too long.

The guitarist, Cynthia Burnson, was half on-board with the act, dressed for a role in Bye Bye Birdie with blue dress and red shoes, occasionally playing on a stepping stool. The bassist and drummer were more concerned with actually playing their instruments, which put the two actors to shame.

O’Brien introduced one of his songs, saying it was about, “Democracy, love, touching your elbows to your knees, and throwing things away.” He did not support this claim with any evidence from the music. The culmination of the embarrassment occurred when O’Brien brandished a pink umbrella for no discernible reason to no fanfare.

SCC&TP has lasted six years, and it would be a shame if they haunted Madison for six more.

Story by Roland Nimis

High Places took the stage at the Majestic Theatre last night to a sparse crowd that contained a disproportionate amount of photographers and VIP badges. The attendees dug their schtick, though, which consisted of Rob Barber on a drum machine and Mary Pearson singing incomprehensible, subdued melodies.

They played with musical primitivism and sounded like a mixture of aboriginal beats and STOMP. Barber toiled away with impressive rhythms while he hopped back and forth and dripped sweat on their table. Pearson augmented her singing with sand shakers and wrist bells. The rest of the sound was phoned in, giving an ambient background.

Within these constraints, High Places covered a lot of ground, from tropical to Indian sounds. The problem was that they failed to grab the audience as they plodded along, refusing to reach out and make the songs recognizable. The issue stemmed from the singing, which seemed like an afterthought and became static midway through the set.

Near the end of the set, Pearson asked the sound engineers to adjust the levels, but no one in the crowd could notice the difference. High Places’ insular music makes for an enjoyable headphone listen, but not much of a show.

Bob Mould is Bob Mould. That makes sense on the surface, but it’s the underlying point behind it that’s important: namely, Mould doesn’t do anything that Mould wouldn’t do. His personal integrity is almost unmatched in the music world. Certainly, Friday night’s performance at the Majestic for the Forward Music Fest proves this.

Over the course of his hour-plus set, Mould played with exuberance that would warrant a comparison to H�sker D�, his first band. This, of course, was surprising given the fact that Mould’s band consisted solely of Mould on electric guitar and Jason Narducy on bass. There was no percussion at all.

As much as I tried not to let it bother me, the lack of any type of percussion really was irritating. Mould and Narducy still rocked out from the outset of the show, but it was just hard to not be thinking, “Something is missing here.”

I wasn’t the only one to notice and have that thought, either. Between songs, Mould related how hectic this past year had been, with releasing a new album, a new DVD and touring the entire country (and Europe). After listing that agenda, he joked that he was “probably missing something,” to which an audience member yelled, “Drums.” It got laughs from those that heard it.

Apart from that oddity, the show was quite entertaining. Mould reached as far back into his catalogue as he could, playing highlights “See A Little Light” and “Sinners and Their Repentances,” both from his solo debut, Workbook. That said, he also played songs from his most recent (soon to be second-most) outing, District Line, and a little of everything in between including a late-set rendition of “Your Favorite Thing,” a song from Mould’s second band, Sugar.

The audience was definitely into the show, as people on the floor could be seen either dancing or rocking out. The average age of those attending was probably in the 35-40 range - not your typical age bracket for a show at the Majestic, but nonetheless the crowd was supportive of Mould’s presence, going as far as thanking him for coming after he thanked the crowd.

Overall, it was an interesting performance that many in the audience will cherish for a time to come. But, hey, that’s what Bob Mould has always done.

Madison locals The Box Social played a rather mellow set Friday evening, opening for Bob Mould. It was a quasi-acoustic affair, with singer/guitarist Nick Junkunc accompanied by guitarist Nick Woods. Considering the set only featured half the band and the fact that they were the openers, TBS played for a solid 40 minutes - and a very memorable 40 minutes at that.

Over the course of the set, the band rocked out when the songs called for it, mellowed out when the songs didn’t. The performance had a real flow to it that most shows are missing nowadays. The band also told stories behind their songs and thanked everyone for supporting local music and the festival multiple times. The band also had a sense of humor about the show, joking about it being acoustic: Junkunc quipped early in the set that, “Usually we have a rhythm section,” to which Woods quickly added, “And amps.” The band played songs off their recent album, Get Going, including “Ginger Ale” and “Galoshes,” and even a newer song called “The Darndest Thing.”

As for the audience, the ones that were clearly there for TBS were very into the set. Even the people that sat through their show to see Bob Mould seemed to enjoy themselves. The audience members that were there to see TBS were noticeably younger than that of Mould fans, so it was rather obvious to tell who was there for which band just by age.

After the show, Junkunc and Woods were kind enough to sit down for a few minutes for a quick interview. Woods summed up the Madison music scene rather succinctly: he argued that because Madison is a small city, the residents can support local music but, at the same time, there is less music to support because the city is small.

As for songwriting, Woods sees the songs as “cake with icing,” whereby Junkunc (the main songwriter) makes the “cake” and the rest of the band adds “icing.” When asked where he gets inspiration, Junkunc was quick to point out that, “It’s not that easy to just sit down and write a song about cars” and that “any songwriter will tell you that songs come from somewhere else.”

At any rate, it was a great performance from a great up-and-coming local act. These guys deserve fame.

Every so often, Leslie and the Ly’s makes a stop in Madison, so it was only natural for this Iowa-based trio to make an appearance at Forward Music Fest. And it’s no wonder this troupe stops here so often - Madison absolutely loves this comedic hip-hop group.

Last night was clearly no different. Audience members were dancing along with Leslie Hall, clearly the “Leslie” of Leslie and the Ly’s, and her two backup vocalists, Sassy Cassie and K to the Double L, during their too-brief set at the Majestic Theatre. Despite their short set, the trio still managed to incite cat calls and hoots from the packed house.

Leslie and the Ly’s really sank their teeth into their set with “Blame the Booty.” Beginning this performance with an anecdote about how her mom created her neon pink and green fringed gold unitard, Leslie rapped “Holla if you hear me, holla if you fear me” and told audience members “don’t, don’t blame me, blame my bootay.” As the trio two-stepped to the beats on Hall’s Mac, a screen above the stage projected images of ’80s work-out tapes.

Also memorable was the group’s performance of “Real Gold and Glamorous” from their lateset release ceWEBrity, when an innocent audience member (probably chosen because of his golden outfit) was pulled on-stage and treated to a little bit of Leslie lovin’. However, he probably got a little more than he reckoned for when Hall attempted to rip open his shirt.

Leslie and the Ly’s set ended with a dance to Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” Although uninteresting at first, the trio spiced up their choreography when Hall took the stage and break danced with abandon to wild cheers from her audience.

Presumably, Leslie and the Ly’s will return to Madison in the very near future. It still doesn’t matter how often the group is here; they always get crowds dancing and they certainly always entertain.

Monotonix began their show by throwing water on their audience. Monotonix continued their show by spitting water in a girl’s face. Monotonix ended their show by imploring their audience - even “the females” - to take off their shirts and spin them in the air with fury. This, my friends, was one truly unforgettable show.

Monotonix is a rock trio from Tel Aviv, Israel - aka the band that originated from the most distant location to perform at Forward Music Fest. But it was worth it.

This band was clearly one of those “live” bands, putting into question on-stage antics versus musical quality when it comes to an in-person performance. Don’t get me wrong, their music - a combo of simplistic beats and bad-ass guitar riffs - was outstanding, but this was slightly overshadowed by their unbelievable on-stage antics.

Well, except for the fact that their antics were actually off-stage. That’s right, Monotonix performed on the Majestic floor. This allowed lead singer, Levi “Ha Haziz” Elvis, to bash into the crowd at will, also surfing atop the soon adoring masses without permission. He also climbed atop innocent bystanders, mounted tables and took peoples’ drinks. No one was safe at this show, and a great deal of audience members stepped away in hesitation when the rambunctious lead singer wove his way through the crowd.

The best moment of the band’s performance, though, was when Monotonix’s drummer, Mordecai, was hoisted into the air atop his bass drum. Audience members - including Forward Music Fest founder Wyndham Manning - held other pieces of his kit, and he played the rest of the song approximately eight or nine feet in the air.

As cliche as the phrase has become, Monotonix’s Madison debut was truly unforgettable. It’s possible that a band has never treated an audience with such care, yet abused them so mightily, at the same time. Because, although Monotonix seemingly assaulted the band at every turn, the trio was also there to entertain to the fullest. And that they did.

Oh, and if you were spit on by Monotonix’s lead singer, feel free to contact me at [email protected]

In case you haven’t heard - how could you not? - Forward Music Fest is kicking off its first annual event this Friday and Saturday. I’m not sure about you, but I’m incredibly excited. The acts are going to be amazing, and, in case you aren’t familiar with some of them, here’s a quick rundown of bands and genre.

Neko Case - Alt-Country: The alternative country indie queen, who used to moonlight with the New Pornographers, is finally coming to Madison after an injured ankle kept her from appearing with the NPs in April.

Flosstradamus - DJs/Mash-up: In the recent interview I did with Wyndham Manning, Kyle Pfister and Jamie Hanson, all three agreed that this would be an incredible show and an awesome dance party.

Killdozer - Rock: Formed in Madison in the ’80s, this Saturday will be Killdozer’s first show in 12 years. Reportedly, the band is going to be bringing back the original guitarist to perform. This is something that absolutely must not be missed.

Bob Mould - Alt-rock: Mould is the former guitarist, vocalist and songwriter of Husker Du, but his latest work - at least on “District Line” - is far more mellow than the angry noise punk that Mould championed in his early career.

Mason Jennings - Singer-songwriter: Two of his covers, “The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll” and “The Times They Are a Changin’,” appeared on the “I’m Not There” soundtrack. And it’s fitting, Jennings has the same delicate warble as Dylan as well as a similar guitar prowess.

Dan Deacon - Electronic: Seemingly taking cues from other samplers and composers like Steve Reich, Deacon weaves samples into a sort of psychedelic fury. Oh, and he’s performed alongside Girl Talk, Deerhunter and other indie heavyweights. Members of FMF also told me that Deacon will be performing on the floor, so that’s another event to look forward to.

Giant Sand - Alt-Rock: Past members of this crew are now part of the ever-revered Calexico.

Dillinger 4 - Punk-rock: This quartet is pretty notorious in the Midwest - the band is from Minnesota - and they always manage to stop in Madison rather frequently, having just been here last fall.

Leslie & the Lys - Pop/comedy: Leslie and the Lys are also pretty notorious here in Madison. Hip-hop meets comedy, yet the music is so delightfully enjoyable that it’s hard not to take it seriously.

Star Fucking Hipsters - Hardcore: New York transplants planning the release of “Until We’re Dead” with Fat Wreck Records. Their music is pretty raucous - charging guitars, bashing percussion - but what else would you expect from a hardcore band?

Monotonix - Hard Rock: From Tel Aviv, this band sports thrashing, hyperactive guitars, and what Manning seemed to indicate during a recent interview was a pretty raucous live show.

Detroit Cobras - Garage Rock: Mellow, almost Seger-esque tranquility, seems to pervade their music, but with a bluesier edge. Should be a pretty tame show, but it’ll good for some chill time.

Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - Indie-pop: Don’t expect people in robes singing soul music. SYGC performs music with a level of ’90s pop-rock charm and swagger. The music is, dare I say it, just plain cute.

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - “Alterna.rock.folk”: Her hollow vocals are haunting, but the band incorporated what sounds like either a classic guitar or mandolin into the song “Swimming Pools.” If that’s not reason enough to like a band, I don’t know what is.

High Places - Indie: Somewhat ambient indie-pop similar to an even more experimental Beach House.

There are also a number of great Madison bands playing including Pale Young Gentlemen, Patchwork (who we reviewed earlier this year), Screamin’ Cyn Cyn and the Pons, Box Social and more.

This festival promises to be really great, so I really recommend - if you haven’t yet - picking up a two-day pass and checking out as many bands as you can.

As if this was an actual surprise to anyone who’s heard the album, Metallica’s lastest album sounds like shit. That is to say, the audio itself is garbage, not the songwriting (for the most part). I didn’t comment on this in my review, as complaining about audio compression these days is akin to complaining that the sky is blue.

Anyhow, Wired has a great piece on why the albuim sounds so terrible. It’s a fascinating read, if I may say so. Just as interesting is the discussion of why the “Guitar Hero” version of the album sounds better than the CD. Yes, you read that right.

Metallica topped charts all over the world, but most perhaps notably at home. In a shortened sales week for them (three days, as Death Magnetic was released on a Friday), they still managed to move - get this - 490,000 units [from Billboard.com].

Not bad.

The following story may well frighten music fans all over the world. From Prefix magazine (prefixmag.com): “As MySpace Music edges closer and closer to its launch, the company is reportedly close to inking a deal with EMI that would make all four major labels partners in MySpace Music. The deal would make artists like Ben Harper and Coldplay available on the service. MySpace Music is reportedly close to being launched, and could be up later this week.” The horror….

They’re called ‘anti-emo riots’ and they’re beginning to become an epidemic in Mexico.

“A series of attacks on dyed-hair, eye-makeup-wearing emo kids began in early March when several hundred people went on an emo-beating rampage in Quer�taro, a town of 1.5 million about 160 miles north of Mexico City,” reports Wired Magazine’s blog.

But the stereotypically apathetic bunch isn’t taking this ‘crying’ down (I couldn’t resist). As Daniel Hernandez of LA Weekly wrote on his personal blog, “They’re organizing to defend their right to be emo.”

In Mexico, the emo sub-culture is associated with homosexuality, so some claim that the blacklash against the scene is homphobia. To wit, the term ‘emosexual’ has become part of sub-culture lexicon for those that depise emos.

But wait! There’s more. Russia, perhaps in an attempt to prevent this or maybe just ‘cause it wants a better world image, is working in legislation banning both emo and goth music, according to Kerrang.com. “Young people” dressed as either emos goths will also be banned from school and government buildings if the legislation is passed.

Have Mexican society and/or Russia’s government gone too far? Not far enough?

According to the official website of David Gilmour, guitarist and vocalist of Pink Floyd, the band’s founding member, Rick Wright, passed away today after a brief bout with cancer.

Although Wright, a keyboardist, was probably the least known member of the prolific psychedelic rock band, he still contributed a significant amount of material to the group, including credits on songs from “Dark Side of the Moon” and “Wish You Were Here.”

Read this.

Apparently Best Buy is buying Napster to compete with Apple’s iTunes. Does Best Buy have a fighting chance to overcome mighty iTunes. I say: Highly unlikely.

Agree, disagree?

Think that guy next to you at Potbelly’s looks like Nick Jonas? Don’t tell him. Read the story below to find out why.

*WAUWATOSA, Wis. (AP) — A 17-year-old boy was arrested for disorderly conduct at a Milwaukee-area mall after punching another boy who said he resembled one of the Jonas Brothers.

WauwatosaNOW.com reported that police said Mayfair Mall security saw the boy, from Brookfield, hit another 17-year-old boy from West Bend with a closed fist about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday. The victim fell backward into a store display.

When security intervened, the victim said while in GameStop, he told the Brookfield boy that he resembled a Jonas brother.

The Brookfield boy followed the West Bend boy outside, struck a fighting pose and told him to say it again. He attacked the West Bend boy when he walked away.*

It seems pretty telling about the public’s perception of the Jonas Brothers that mention of a resemblance to one of them incites violence. Many females would probably find such a comment to be complimentary, while a guy would be insulted. Why? Is it their vow to abstinence, their affiliation with Disney or their constructed, slightly feminine image?

Oh, and if you aren’t familiar with the Jonas Brothers, check out this article in the Herald about the Jonas trio.

Welcome to The Beat Goes On, the definitive blog about music, television, movies and art on and/or for the University of Wisconsin. Updates to this blog will be frequent, and we’ll strive to keep those visiting the site up to date on the latest in the local and national entertainment worlds. And, please, don’t be shy - comment as little or as often as you’d like.