Why do things with British accents always seem more interesting?

I’ve found this to be true in many areas of my life, from movies to men. But perhaps there is nothing more fascinating about the British than their history.

Does America have a history that it can accurately trace back at least two thousand years? No.

Does America have a monarchy? No.

These two simple facts are merely a starting point for Brits to begin chalking up their excellent achievements. Did America, for example, ever have a citizen try to assassinate a ruler by filling the room under Congress with gun powder and waiting for the unlucky man to arrive? No. The clever Englishman Guy Fawkes did, when he tried to blow up King James I from under Parliament in 1605. (In fact, it gets better. The Brits celebrate “Guy Fawkes Day” every fifth of November, when they burn Guy in effigy and sing songs like, “Guy, guy, guy! Stick him up on high; hang him on a lamp post and leave him there to die!” Holidays don’t get much better than that.)

Another example: Did Americans ever steal a special rock from the Native Americans, keep it for 700 years and then finally give it back? Nope. King Edward did essentially that when he carted off the Stone of Scone from Scotland in 1296; the stone was returned to the Scots in 1996.

The years of bloody warfare, the hard-fought successions, the excellent scatological medieval literature - you have to admit, Britain was the place to be for the last thousand years.

What, then, do American schoolchildren have to look forward to in their history lessons? Drivel about the Founding Fathers and “exciting” history about the “taming of the West.” Actually, the taming of the West involved traveling in covered wagons for months, past miles and miles of waving grass. Yes, “taming” implies some excitement; this came in the form of making pets out of the prairie dogs.

Our presidents, until recently, have been anything but fascinating. Let’s name a couple: There was good ol’ Calvin Coolidge, also known as “Silent Cal” (Why would anyone want to learn about Silent Cal when one can learn about Edward Longshanks?). Then there was James Buchanan. What did he do? My point exactly: you don’t even know what he did - because none of it was interesting.

At least this was my opinion until a few weeks ago. After my recent travels, I’ve found that perhaps I’ve judged American history just a tad too harshly.

I traveled to New York City and Washington, D.C., during the last week of the summer, and experienced something of an epiphany. I found that although American history doesn’t enjoy the same quirky tidbits as British history, the sights here are not as unexciting as I have always thought.

The problem is that it’s hard to put into the words the feeling one gets standing at the foot of the Statue of Liberty or the side of JFK’s grave. It’s the same emotion you experience in a place of worship; silence and awe are appropriate, and that is something you feel rather than consciously know, as though the very ground deserves respect.

The thing is, British history translates well on paper, but American history needs to be seen and experienced. Reading about Guy Fawkes is good enough; the story carries its own power and doesn’t need a physical context to make an impression. But just the thought of Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence doesn’t exactly do it for most people.

Therefore, in order to properly appreciate American history, you have to go to where things happened. You have to walk the halls of Ellis Island, where millions of immigrants passed through on their way to the legendary Land of Freedom. You have to see the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

This stinks, because getting to historical sites isn’t easy, given the size of America and the various locations of important events. But it’s not as important to actually get to the site as it is to develop some sort of emotional response to the words in the textbook, whether humorous or tragic or grand. It is this tie to the real people who lived the events that makes history come alive and the study worthwhile.

So as school starts, and you begin the long nap that is U.S. history, don’t just switch to a class on the English monarchy; try to get some visuals to spark your interest in Silent Cal. Take a road trip. Watch a historical movie. It’s well worth the time and money and may be just enough to keep the snoring to a minimum and the grade above a C.