As finals approach and winter break looms larger day after day, the prospect of a six-week vacation seems very enticing. While almost nobody will complain about the time off, many of us will find ourselves bored and ready to come back early. This can all be remedied by viewing a little-known movie.

That movie is 1981’s “Caveman.” Featuring Dennis Quaid, Shelley Long and Beatles drummer Ringo Starr, “Caveman” is a story that is prehistoric yet timeless. Set in “One Zillion B.C.,” the star of the show, Atouk (Ringo Starr), finds himself lusting after the voluptuous Lana (Barbara Bach). However, Tonda (John Matuszak) is suspicious of Atouk from the start and claims Lana. Atouk is later expelled from the tribe and ends up forming his own band of misfit cavemen.

Atouk’s tribe includes a blind man, a gay cavemen and the attractive Tala (Shelley Long). From the start, it is evident that Tala has the hots for Atouk. At this point, it becomes clear that under all the caveman grunting, fights with dinosaurs, experimentation with marijuana and encounters with ice beasts in nearby ice ages that “Caveman” is a story about love and one man’s journey to find the woman who is right for him.

Back to the story. While bobbing for crabs, Tonda loses track of Lana, who is swept downstream and later discovered by Atouk’s tribe. Atouk is in heaven, and Lana has a newfound attraction for Atouk much to the dismay of Tala. However, this love cannot last long, as Atouk and Tonda’s tribe inch closer and closer to battle.

After Tonda’s tribe steals a pterodactyl egg from Atouk, it suddenly finds itself under attack by the egg’s mother. Tonda and his men put up a valiant fight but in the end lose the egg by tossing it over a cliff and into a volcanic pit. What is one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and Atouk’s tribe happens upon the pit, which has transformed the remnants into scrambled eggs, providing a plentiful meal for Atouk’s followers.

Eventually, Atouk’s love for Lana leads to war with Tonda. It is here, when Atouk confronts Tonda, that Atouk realizes the true love of his life. After defeating Tonda, Atouk suddenly finds he has to choose between Lana and Tala. He initially chooses Lana, but then a disturbing expression sweeps across his face. This is the moment when true love prevails. Atouk tosses Lana into a pile of dinosaur crap and races to Tala. The two live happily ever after.

“Caveman” could be classified as a romantic comedy. It starts with Atouk lusting after Lana and ends with him falling in love with Tala. The movie begins and ends with love.

It is also a movie about humanity’s faults: greed, lust and brutality. It takes us back to a time when human life was as fragile as a stack of cards — when fire and food were the only elements protecting us from death. After watching this movie, you should take a look at your life and realize how lucky you are.

Lucky does not describe Ringo Starr or those who created this film. Ringo deserved to win the Oscar for Best Actor, and the movie lost in the Best Picture category, but the film garnered no Academy Awards. Awards will not determine the legacy of “Caveman.” The ideals, the emotions and the lessons this movie conveys will determine its legacy. It encompasses feelings and emotions that have been inseparable from humankind for thousands of years.

It is truly timeless.

Derek Montgomery ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in journalism and political science.