H -°, L 6° | Tomorrow: 
H 18°, L 6°Here’s a hypothetical situation for you. Let’s say that I’m the mayor of Madison, and I tell you that I never drive on the beltline because I’m “scared shitless” of cars. Then suppose that I am so anti-automobile that I decide to join a bicycle-activist group called “Critical Mass,” which is a bicycle-activist organization that frequently rides together in large groups on Madison’s busiest streets during rush hour to block traffic in a form of protest against cars.
Then, finally, let’s say that after supporting policies that require every new business in Madison to have an excessive amount of bike stalls, as mayor I decide to spend over $110,000 to install a new bicycle lane around the capitol square on taxpayer money. And then, when people complain about the outrageous taxpayer expense of this endeavor, I respond by playing dumb and say that the cost “was a surprise to me when I learned about it a few weeks ago,” but I decide to go through with the expensive plan anyway.
If I was the Mayor of Madison, and I told you all of this, you probably would laugh in my face and tell me I need psychological help. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, but everything I have just said is actually true, not of myself, but of our current mayor, Dave Cieslewicz. That’s just a slice of the pro-bicycle crusade that our Mayor is currently on with certain members of the Madison City Council.
Next month, the Mayor expects approval by the City Council of a $132,000 plan to add 27 more parking spaces to the Capitol Square because of an increasing demand for car parking. Cost of the parking spaces: $19,000. But the mayor decided that in order to be “fair” to bicyclists, he’d go right ahead and tack on an additional $113,000 of your hard-earned taxpayer money to go toward the creation of a new bike lane around the square. Why is this so expensive you ask? Well, because the mayor thinks it’s necessary to cover up a 1/4-inch crevice in the road so that bicyclists don’t ride over the crevice, take a fall at 5 miles per hour, and rip a hole in their spandex or get a boo-boo on their arm.
Other ridiculous bicycle-friendly ideas have included a proposal by the Mayor’s good friend City Council Member Robbie Webber, who wants to make it mandatory for all banks in Madison to include separate drive-up lanes for bicycles. Apparently, some bicyclists feel discriminated against by the banks and want their own personal bank teller’s and drive-up lanes. You see, they are the ones being environmentally friendly and cutting down on global warming, unlike those evil, fast-moving weapons we like to call automobiles.
Another policy that the Mayor and City Council have repeatedly supported has been siding with the 10-speeders in their refusal to pay a permit fee for use of city bike trails. If you use a state bike trail you have to pay a fee, but you don’t have to pay anything to use the city trails in Madison because the Mayor and his biking buddies feel that us car drivers should all be thankful to bicyclists for not contributing to the dangerous automobile environment in Madison. At the same time, I’m sure the mayor thinks it’s a good thing that the toll fees for those scary automobiles were recently doubled on I-90. That’ll teach us car lovers!
Also, you may have noticed that when it snows, the bike paths typically are cleared off before many of the roads are in Madison. That’s also because the bikers are first priority in this city since they are keeping you and I safer by staying off the slippery, snow-covered roads.
Mayor Dave, please stop being ridiculous. You need to start taking the citizens of Madison seriously and not be so self-serving in your governing. Spending thousands of dollars on “bike-friendly” proposals is not what this city needs. You and Robbie Webber need to start focusing on being more fiscally responsible and practical. Your response in being “surprised” by the enormous cost of this $110,000 bicycle plan is one of the most outrageous, irresponsible ones I’ve ever heard. It is tantamount to a family going out and buying a one-million-dollar home when they have a combined income of $40,000 a year and $100,000 in unpaid credit card bills. It’s time to stop dreaming about Lance Armstrong and step into the real world, Mr. Mayor.
We are a city that demands fiscal responsibility, not unnecessary spending. We demand sane laws that accommodate all modes of transportation within reason, not policies that require an expensive bike path along with every new road construction project and real estate development.
Finally, we demand a set of principles by our mayor that represent the entire constituency of Madison, not ones that represent only the people who eat too much granola and wear those ridiculous spandex shorts (that 98% of the riders shouldn’t be allowed to wear in public, by the way). I have to inform you, Mayor Dave, that we’re not hosting the Tour De France anytime soon, although I’ll be sure to inform you when we do.
Casey Hoff ([email protected]) is a UW student and the host of “New Ground with Casey Hoff,” live Monday through Friday, 9-11 a.m., on Talk Radio 1670 WTDY.
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Amen!
My street still hasn’t been plowed even once all winter by a city plow. The residents here have had to pool our money together to hire a private plowing service. In the meanwhile, there were several near-accidents when cars driving under 10 mph slid on ice or got redirected by over a foot of snow in the street.
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Excellent editorial
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While parts of this article are valid (the extreme cost for the capital bike lane for example), the article as a whole would have been much better if you had tried, at least a little, to hide your spiteful feelings of anyone trying to help the environment. Maybe you were sodomized by a bike seat or something, who knows, but maybe next time you could try to hide your obviously overwhelming neo-con car obsession.
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Two words…rush hour
Anyone who has to fight the crazy traffic in Madison twice a day just to get in and out of campus appreciates the people who use bike paths and public transportation to make main roads less congested. Like the above poster said, your article would have been a lot better without the dripping sarcasm and personal bias. Better luck next time, Hoff.
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Casey Hoff, you are an idiot. Do you have any idea how much “precious taxpayer money” is spent paving your fucking roads for your stupid wasteful cars? It’s around 800 times as much money per capita as is spent on bicycles and pedestrians combined. I can’t believe you claim to be a progressive, you whiny ass. THREE PEDESTRIANS HAVE BEEN KILLED BY CARS IN THE LAST YEAR. Those aren’t “boo boos.”
Oh, and then there’s this: “Also, you may have noticed that when it snows, the bike paths typically are cleared off before many of the roads are in Madison.” That is a complete fucking lie. They plow snow off of the roads and into the bike lanes!!! You fucking right-wing liar!
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“Casey Hoff, you are an idiot. Do you have any idea how much “precious taxpayer money” is spent paving your fucking roads for your stupid wasteful cars? It’s around 800 times as much money per capita as is spent on bicycles and pedestrians combined. I can’t believe you claim to be a progressive, you whiny ass. THREE PEDESTRIANS HAVE BEEN KILLED BY CARS IN THE LAST YEAR. Those aren’t “boo boos.”
Oh, and then there’s this: “Also, you may have noticed that when it snows, the bike paths typically are cleared off before many of the roads are in Madison.” That is a complete fucking lie. They plow snow off of the roads and into the bike lanes!!! You fucking right-wing liar!”
Whoa, someone has got their panties in a bind. While I think Mr. Hoff’s sarcasm detracted from his argument, as I think it made him sound like bikes were man’s worst enemy, I do get his point. Madison is already a great city for biking. How much more should be spent on it, especially if it is a part of the mayor’s private agenda?
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Yeah, she sounds like she could use an un-wedgie, but she still has a point.
We like bikes in Madison, we elected a pro-bike mayor, and I don’t see why Hoff is wasting so much time complaining about it. This is exactly what we voted for when we chose Dave Cieslewicz as mayor. And your self-righteous griping aside, it’s what’s going to help Dave C. get re-elected in two years. If you want fiscal responsibility, try complaining about the road reconstruction projects that cost about $80 million a pop (Verona/West Beltline).
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“try complaining about the road reconstruction projects that cost about $80 million a pop (Verona/West Beltline).”
Ahem. Try $160 million. And that new parking structure that the city plans to build for $3 million so that people don’t have to walk three blocks from the OTHER parking ramps. Oh, and don’t forget all the police, EMS, snow plows, road patching, sweeping, signage, and other excenses needed to keep drivers safe and happy. (Or to clean up after them when they AREN’T safe and happy.)
Just remember that each bicyclist means one more parking space for you and your lazy butt.
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It really does get annoying when you hit a biker and have to clean the car on the way home.
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Casey Hoff, please stop being ridiculous. You need to start taking the citizens of Madison seriously and not be so self-serving in your journalism. Anybody who lives in and around the isthmus knows that traffic congestion is a nightmare because it is the economic epicenter as well as a NARROW STRIP OF LAND. One school of thought would suggest the solution to this problem is to build a freeway through it, an undoubtedly beautiful addition to our downtown area. Another school suggests finding a more efficient form of transportation. Bike lanes are far cheaper than roads, and certainly well used by students and professionals alike. What's more, biking in the downtown area is so prevalent only because the infrastructure already exists to support it. In other words, build it and they will come. To squelch the notion that bicycle transportation is a purely environmental movement, it is also far cheaper and healthier for the commuter. Casey, I am disappointed with your self-righteous attitude. There is nothing ?good? or ?right? about driving somewhere as opposed to using other forms of transportation. From a human ecology standpoint, the solitary automobile-commuter is far and away the most selfish commuter out there. When I drive somewhere, I certainly don't pat myself on the back for not biking or taking mass-transit. But maybe that's where our value systems differ.
Michael Eckblad is a Senior majoring History and InterArts and Technology
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Hey dipshit author, maybe you missed the boat on this one, but the majority of the constiuancy in Madison is a bunch of granola eating hippy/spandex wearing liberals. Even campus has an entirely left twist. The conservatives are from verona, middleton, maple bluffs, bellevue, shorewood hills, sun prarie, cross plains, mcfarland, fitchburg, etc and don’t pay property taxes to the city of Madison. Thus the city council could give a flying fuck less what they have to say. The only caveat is that they work in Madison which brings businesses into town which they can tax.
While I don’t give a shit about the environment I do like cycling. You are entitled to your own opinion even though you are too fucking stupid to express it convincingly. I also agree the majority of cyclists out there are absolute morons and deserve to get hit, but that correlates with the rest of the population so unless you’re going to buy an M-60 and start mowing people down STFU.
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I would like to address some of the author’s more ridiculous points, although it is clear that Casey’s hate of bicyclists is preventing him/her from being objective.
On trail fees: You don’t have to pay an extra fee to use the city roads, so why should you have to pay for the bike paths?
On trail plowing: Trails are higher priority than roads? If you seriously think this is the case, I don’t even know how to address this.
“Well, because the mayor thinks it's necessary to cover up a 1/4-inch crevice in the road so that bicyclists don't ride over the crevice, take a fall at 5 miles per hour, and rip a hole in their spandex or get a boo-boo on their arm.” -Casey Hoff
On this particular gem: Cyclists are legal users of roads, so it makes perfect sense to make roads suitable for their use. I commute to work by bicycle year-round, and I’ve never worn spandex, though I fail to see the relevance of a cyclist’s choice of apparel. Also, the speed of the cyclist has no bearing on this discussion, but your estimate of 5mph is quite a bit too low. That’s a brisk walk. Furthermore, your use of the term “boo-boo” for injury suggests that you don’t care whether any cyclists are injured. If that’s really the way you feel, then you can not be reasoned with.
On the general premise: In the context of the Madison city budget, $110,000 is not nearly as significant as you make it out to be. Consider that it only accounts to a few cents per person, and your blustering accusations of irresponsibility begin to look quite melodramatic.
In closing, I would like to respond to this: “If I was the Mayor of Madison, and I told you all of this, you probably would laugh in my face and tell me I need psychological help.” Well, you don’t have to be the mayor for me to do those things, Casey.
Tom Madison Cyclist
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Plowing the bicycle lane made me laugh, a lot, but not as much as the spandex comment. I am sorry you are not well endowed, and are embarrassed by other people wearing spandex.
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Wow….
Where is this place? Can I get a job in Madison? Casey, I think you should move to the suburbs of Baltimore, where I am. Then, you won't have to cry about the government fixing cracked paving FOR ANYBODY. They just don't fix it, period! You also won't have to worry about progressive politicians attempting to make their city/town more livable. Nope, won't happen here.
I'll tell you what you will get: Traffic gridlock on the beltway for 4 to 6 hours per day. Smog alerts all summer long. Mile after mile of carcinogen belching SUV's piloted by blue eye-shadow wearing, big hair-doo'ed, cell phone yapping, MacDonald's munching morbidly obese morons like you….
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“If I was the Mayor of Madison, and I told you all of this, you probably would laugh in my face and tell me I need psychological help.”
No - I would say that there is one progressive mayor, and many more act in such a manner. Have you ridden a bicycle lately?
“…so that bicyclists don't ride over the crevice, take a fall at 5 miles per hour, and rip a hole in their spandex or get a boo-boo on their arm.”
No, it’s more like removing a road hazard that may induce a potentially dangerous fall. Sure 5 miles per hour is not much, especially when compared to the 45mph speeding idiot piloting the death weapon, who is probably talking on a cell phone, chowing down a big mac and coffee, and either applying lipstick or reading a paper. Tell me, what happens when these two meet, the 5mph boo-booed cyclist, and the speeding death weapon?
“Apparently, some bicyclists feel discriminated against by the banks and want their own personal bank teller's and drive-up lanes.”
While it’s probably not necessary, cyclists are routinely refused service at drive up locations. I don’t want my own personal teller, I want the same one you had. I must not be threatening enough, with my boo-boos, and without my threatening death weapon.
“That'll teach us car lovers!”
Nah, I doubt it. You cannot teach those unwilling to learn.
“…by staying off the slippery, snow-covered roads.”
If people would operate their death weapons in a reasonable manner, instead of driving along the slippery, snow-covered roads as if it were asphalt, you might find it’s not all that difficult, dangerous, or nerve-wracking.
“We demand sane laws that accommodate all modes of transportation within reason…”
I’m sure you have some basically sane bike laws, you might try reviewing the vehicle code for your state. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of sane lawas contained therein.
“…we demand a set of principles by our mayor that represent the entire constituency of Madison…”
It’s really fun to dream, innit it? Have on ruler that make everybody happy, yea, that would cushy. So, you’re upset then, that the people stuffing fast food down their gullets, swerving all over the road while looking for that extra french fry, sporting the latest regurgitation by hilfiger et al are not being fairly represented? Oh come on now… have you even tried granola?
Man, you’re a dork ;)
AAron Hazard
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Pavement cracks are a very dangerous road hazard. They cause sudden head-over-heels accidents. A cyclist who gets a tire stuck in one might be lucky to walk away with a broken collar bone. And the taxpayers might be liable for the road hazard since the city is obviously aware of the problem. Finally, given Madison’s freeze and thaw cycles, 1/4 inch cracks get larger quickly.
As as to drive thru’s, this wouldn’t be a problem if cyclists could use the same ones cars use. I think it would be fair to tell businesses to choose between building cyclist-only drive-thru’s and letting cyclists use existing lanes.
As to bike path user fees, I assume you also support fees anytime a person wants to use public property:
Step on a sidewalk, pay a fee. Step on the Capitol grounds, pay a fee.
Step on UW property, pay a fee.
Step in any city park, pay a fee.
As long as the city treats everyone equally, that’s fine.
And as to bike lane striping, I agree that this can be overdone. A lot of bike lanes are more about keeping cyclists out of the way of cars, not helping cyclists. Building bike lanes is often anti-, not pro-bike. Generally speaking, cyclists don’t owe the city anything for building bike lanes. The city owes cyclists for forcing cyclists to put up with bike lanes.
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Yawn
This is just the kind of high-octane, cliched, baiting claptrap we’ve come to expect from the Badger Herald. All the rambling about boo-boos and spandex, about how cyclists are slow, cheap and stupid really does wonders for your credibility:
“[people who use bikes for transportation] eat too much granola and wear those ridiculous spandex shorts (that 98% of the riders shouldn't be allowed to wear in public, by the way).”
Wait, is this a discussion of the City’s fiscal responsibility or a rant about how much Casey Hates Bikes? It’s really hard to tell.
M
PS—By the way, speaking of fiscal responsibility, how does the 100,000 dollar cost of a bike lane around the square compare to the cost of something like the East Washington reconstruction? Poor motoring taxpayers—life just ain’t fair, is it?
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The human body is not meant to be still all the time. It’s better to bike when you can and not spend too much time in the car. That’s what the doctors say anyway. It’s a national problem. It’s very typical that when one does not understand all the details of a particular subject, the cost looks like it’s too much. You might want to research the savings and health benefits from this a little more. Try riding a bike, you might like it, it's good for you, it’s good for the city, and the planet.
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Hey Casey, If you’re looking for a place to live that’s completely overrun with cars, I’m sure Atlanta, Houston, LA, suburban Chicago, Tuscon or someplace like that would be delighted to have you.
Yeah, you heard me right. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.
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Find another major.
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I hope you’re a freshmen because you clearly have a lot to learn. You’ve succeeded in lowering my opinion of UW and for that you should be proud.
Grow up kid.
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When you’re done with your major, can you please ship him to Houston? Please?
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AAron Hazard, If I may ask a favor, please don’t call this fool a dork - he’s not worthy. ;)
jbcarlso
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Wow!Casey, you have a lot to learn about transportation and what it costs to drive a car! As a journalist perhaps you should take you job a bit more seriously and look into things before you spout off like that. You look pretty foolish!
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I am here in Kansas City, MO. I would like to cast my support for the mayor of Madison,and his “bike riding buddies” I wish that Kansas City would do somthing like that. There are more of us bicylce advocates out here. And we’re not going away. I am [email protected]
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I am here in Kansas City, MO. I would like to cast my support for the mayor of Madison,and his “bike riding buddies” I wish that Kansas City would do somthing like that. There are more of us bicylce advocates out here. And we’re not going away. I am [email protected]
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I am here in Kansas City, MO. I would like to cast my support for the mayor of Madison,and his “bike riding buddies” I wish that Kansas City would do somthing like that. There are more of us bicylce advocates out here. And we’re not going away. I am [email protected]
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This article has been spammed on numerous bike forums. I can think of a lot better ways to spend $110,000 to help bicycling interest than building a bike lane around the capitol. The bike lanes at banks is totally silly, if the banks feel the need for them, let the banks decide to build them. Free enterprise system you know. Also remember that bikes don’t pay road taxes or any registration taxes. If they expect the same rights as cars, they should pay the same fees as cars.
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The SpongeBob GayPants article also by Hoff, seems to suggest that the rant against cyclists is stemmed by Hoff’s uncomfortable insecurity of his sexuality. Cyclists=spandex=gay. Did you know football players are gay too Hoff? They wear spandex.
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Cyclists do pay for roads—through sales, income, property and other taxes. And, unlike cars, we don’t cause potholes or spew toxic gas in our wake. Not a bad deal for the taxpayers.
On the other hand, I agree that many bike lanes and bike paths do little to help cyclists. Their main purpose is to make certain cyclists feel valued and to give politicians something to crow about. Bike paths are nice for recreational cyclists, but the paths are often useless for commuters and other “tranportational cyclists.”
Many bike lanes actually make the road more dangerous for cyclists. If you look through cyclist web sites, you will see a raging debate on their value. So it is perfectly fair to discuss whether they are worth the money.
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“…So it is perfectly fair to discuss whether they are worth the money.”
It’s not whether it is a worthy topic that is at issue. It is the childish, ineffective arguments that are made which ultimately trivialize this important issue.
Shame on you Hoff.
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“It’s not whether it is a worthy topic that is at issue. It is the childish, ineffective arguments that are made which ultimately trivialize this important issue.”
You’re right. The author clearly did no research into the advantages and disadvantages of bike lanes. There are a lot of thoughtful arguments against most bike lanes. But this column was just a rant.
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This article appears as if it were written for a middle school newspaper by a sixth grader. How about pick a word other than ridiculous. UW must have pretty low standards to publish this garbage. Here in Boston the govt just spent upwards of 15 BILLION dollars on an underground highway that leaks. $100k for a bike path seems pretty reasonable in that context.