H -°, L 23° | Tomorrow: 
H 23°, L 9°There has been a big crackdown on prostitution in Madison as of late. Most people seem shocked when they hear about it. “How could this horrible filth be taking place in Madison?”
Over the past year, this “War on Prostitution,” if you will, has led to more than twice the amount of arrests than in previous years. The Madison Police Department has been combing the streets for seemingly every 50-something lonely man who is willing to lay down a few bucks for some emotionless fellatio. But then, I got to thinking about the definition of “prostitution” as found in the American Heritage Dictionary: The act or practice of engaging in sex acts for hire. Legalized prostitution already goes on thousands of times each weekend in our “puritan city.”
If emotionless sex for money is a crime, then theoretically we should be locking up everyone who has it. One-night stands should be criminal, according to the current law. That hottie you met at the bar the other night and took home after a few rounds with Jose Cuervo was propositioned, paid (in shots), and consented to sex. It’s prostitution, no question about it.
We could have a bunch of Madison Police raiding singles bars. They could randomly ask couples if their sex was going to be predicated on what he bought her at the bar that night or not. If they had proof beyond a reasonable doubt this could be potential emotionless sex that was paid for, then off to jail the couple goes, topped off with a hefty fine.
Personally, I’m a one-woman man who likes a good, old-fashioned relationship rather than emotionless one-night stands, but throwing people in jail for prostitution is ridiculous, since it’s been going on in the human race ever since the first person figured out that the formula for “getting some” with some women and men is as simple as paying for that next drink and the cab fare to his or her apartment. Let’s be honest. Do you really think that Anna Nicole Smith got married to her late husband and billionaire oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall because of his stunning good looks and personality? She wanted his money and Marshall was a lonely old man. He propositioned her with a huge mansion and all the riches she so desired as long as she would do the deed after he popped a bottle of Viagra every once in a while.
I’m not insinuating most guys are like J. Howard Marshall or most women are like Anna Nicole Smith, because to do so would be ridiculous. But it would be equally naive to deny thousands of Friday-night hookups and one-night stands aren’t predicated on the man or woman essentially paying for sex. There really is no philosophical difference between the “sex acts for hire” initiated on a random street in Madison and the ones initiated at a random bar on State Street.
Madison certainly has regressed in its permissive attitude on sex since the days of the ’70s when King Street looked more like Las Vegas. A city that purports to be so progressive when it comes to individual liberty is acting more like Salt Lake City, Utah than Madison, Wis., but prostitution is a rare moment where the morals police of the far-feminist left march in lockstep with the extreme-Christian right.
I don’t like the idea of the government getting involved in the sexual freedoms of any adult male or female. As long as you’ve got two consenting adults, it’s none of the government’s business as to whether it’s true love, a one-night stand, rebound sex, friends with benefits or paid for courtesy of Jim Beam. Madison’s sexual hookups aren’t all holier-than-thou, puritan-based, marital-intentioned acts as a result of handholding walks in the Arboretum and chatter about last Sunday’s church service. Some of them are downright legalized acts of prostitution. It would be a tough job to figure out which ones are morally righteous and which ones aren’t. Some people say that money is the root of all evil. That may or may not be true, but it would be naive to deny that Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson and Franklin had no say in thousands of sex-crazed 20-somethings’ after-hour rendezvous each weekend in this fine city.
Casey Hoff ([email protected]) is a UW student and the host of “New Ground with Casey Hoff,” live Monday through Friday, 9-11 a.m., on Talk Radio 1670 WTDY.
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Does this guy really think he is insightful?
I mean seriously, I am a conservative and this guy blows.
If you want to catch a hooker all you need to do is raid the rising sun and geisha house.
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Legalize prostitution.
Criminalize Casey Hoff.
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This guy is a tool. Lonely much, Mr. Hoff?
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One of the many problems with prostitution is that often the money exchanged goes to pay for more undesirable things like crack, heroin, and other illegal drugs. It’s not just that prostitution is a nuisance that lowers property values and quality of life in the city, but it also breeds more crime. Sometimes enforcing nuisance ordinances can reduce crime in other areas, and that is likely the idea of the stepped-up enforcement here.
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“Personally, I'm a one-woman man who likes a good, old-fashioned relationship rather than emotionless one-night stands”
Speaking of “mangina’s”, I love how Hoff is using this column to pick up women. “look at meeeeeee, I don’t hook up like all those other mean guys”.
Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please let this be Hoff’s last column.
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Only Hoff can write a column that I agree with and yet I still hate the douche bag.
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I’ve been approached by prosties on occasion when I lived out on the East Side around North St. and E. Johnson. I’m really not into paying a “working girl” for some nuzzle. So whenever one approaches me, I just remember what my Navy CPO told me if we didn’t want to loosen our skivvies: I turn around, look her right in the eye and say “Nelson, you made Vice Squad after all! Congratulations! Damn, I almost took you for a real ho…oh, sorry. I totally forgot you’re on duty…dammit!”
Keeps the crabs outta the ol’ loins every time.
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That last poster has air where his brain should be. That’s gotta be the stupidest story I ever heard.
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Who thinks Madison is a “puritan city”? I always thought it was a city on an isthmus rather than a city on a hill.
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“puritan city”?
WTF??? Mad Sin City more likely!
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Statement -> exaggerated metaphor -> convoluted reasoning -> “outrageous” column -> retarded feedback.
Did I miss anything? I am documenting this process for future generations.
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“Some people say that money is the root of all evil.”
No one says this.
The real quote, if you care to look it up and not come off as an idiot, is, “THE LOVE OF Money is A root of all KINDS OF evil.”
Also, am I to understand that the point of this editorial is that prostitution should be legal because there are lots of one-night stands that count as prostitution anyways? Or that people just shouldn’t be so slutty? Or the government should say people shouldn’t be so slutty? Or they shouldn’t say anything? What?
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“Also, am I to understand that the point of this editorial is that prostitution should be legal because there are lots of one-night stands that count as prostitution anyways? Or that people just shouldn’t be so slutty? Or the government should say people shouldn’t be so slutty? Or they shouldn’t say anything? What?”
I think we’re supposed to buy our own drinks but still tip the waitresses. I think.
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Unless the waitress goes home with you, then that’s prostitution…I think.
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I get it. If men buy ladies drinks, that’s prostitution. If they don’t, they’re cheap and unromantic.
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Hoff is telling us that he’s above hookups (mostly because his mommy reads this shit) so he can actually hookup with women who claim they don’t really hookup. You know, the type that know they have found their soul mate after like 15 minutes of talking in a bar. Then two weeks later they are broken up and have moved on to the next soul mate. Apparently that isn’t prostitution because of the soul mate factor.
Good lord, this column sucks.
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Did anyone hear about the dude in Rhode Island that got busted for solicitation? The funny part of the story is that he had no money, he offered the cop steaks as payment! Fillet for falli anyone? Haha.
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Hoff hooks up with sheep. Pass it on!
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“That last poster has air where his brain should be. That’s gotta be the stupidest story I ever heard.”
Not half as stupid as if he tried to hit her up and got busted for solicitation. What do YOU use for brains, asshole? Never mind, don’t answer that.
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Not only is Casey Hoff a sexually obsessed moron, but there are a lot of cheap ho’s in this town. A few drinks and she’s laid.
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Poster 1 here again: I just wanted to apoligize to that Jewish girl I offended over the weekend —- I seriously was just messing with ya.
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Oh and Casey Hoff is a reject.
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Geez, Casey, this article was written 10, 20, and 30 years ago. Actually, it has been written almost every year that people have considered the role of women, men, social position, sex, and money in the world.
The difference is, most people have done a much better job of examining the issue.
You write as if you just discovered the issue. Either you are too uninformed to realize it’s a rehash, or too egotistical to realize you bring nothing new to the subject.
YAWN
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It figures a bunch of soldiers would be hanging around prostitutes. They make me sick. They were probably child prostitutes in Thailand. Jerks.
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Yeah I bet that Navy guy turned down the prostitute like that…on his way out of the brothel..LMFAO
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I think there should be a greatest hits column devoted to the most creative insults leveled at Hoff.
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I agree with your statement on prostitution but like the war on drugs it provides employment for cops and judges.
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Well, one station that WTDY actually beat in the latest ratings was the all-spanish AM station but not much else. bwaaaaahahahahaha! Maybe Hoff can be a DJ when they go to an all polka format.
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Hey, Hoff, you do realize that your boss is desperately in love with you, right?