In response to “Rising food prices indicate worldwide crisis” by Andrew Wagner:

There once was a man named Gore,

who thought he had a climate change cure,

then things like grain and rice,

went far up in price,

now he’s to blame for starving the poor!

In response to: “Madison eateries need calorie info” by Ryan Greenfield

It’s good policy for businesses to provide the information upon request, but I can’t see how this is the government’s responsibility. Should they send inspectors around to make sure that people double-knot their sneakers?

In response to “Global warming claims crippling” by Jim Allard:

What the heck? Everyone’s talking about how the Earth is round! Why can’t I get my flat-Earth theory published anywhere? Discrimination!!

For all the activists that call global warming deniers, “flat-earthers”, remember that it used to be the scientific consensus that the earth was flat and the universe revolved around the earth. Funny how science changes over time.

In response to “Shhhh! I’m trying to study!” by Joseph Gossett:

Why is it that whenever I’m trying to study I write letters to the editor? Maybe the Badger Herald and all newspapers should stop printing when it’s near finals so that no student will get distracted.

In response to “Barack Obama secret Muslim; good for you, Hillary” by Gerald Cox:

Maybe if Obama was less like Steve Urkel and more like Bill Cosby I could respect him. Obama is all “Did I do that?” when questions come up about his past, and even his present.