H -°, L 23° | Tomorrow: 
H 23°, L 9°In my fair share of nights at Hawk’s, the City and Ian’s… blackout was a good friend of mine. As my longtime roommate would say, “Every story you tell starts with ‘Apparently last night…’” Regarding to the murders and attacks that happened on campus in the last two years, my dad said to me, “You know, you just can’t make that mistake; you can’t afford that.” He was referring to the late night, solo treks home I had stupidly been committing — putting myself right into the next batch of unaware, drunk girls who disappear and wind up on the cover of the Wisconsin State Journal. Stupid. Ladies, he was right — we can’t afford to take those chances.
In the last year, I have decided to gradually stop drinking. At first, it was because of those regrettable decisions and dedication to dance, but now it’s a subconscious choice I don’t event think about. I still go to the bars and will go wild downstairs in Madison’s, but you won’t find me bingeing on pizza at 3 a.m., making out with the creeper or walking home alone with no phone or conscious mind about me. I even made it through a summer in Manhattan with only about four glasses of wine to my name — and had the best time of my life, met an amazing guy who also doesn’t drink often and made unmatched professional contacts in my field.
However, what has surprised me most is the total lack of support I’ve had from friends, even best friends, concerning the decision to curb my drinking. To my chagrin it has caused monumental battles — “You’re ruining my birthday; you don’t want me to have fun… Why won’t you drink?!” I couldn’t fathom why my friends who knew the horrible decisions I was making would harass me so vehemently. Why did they need me to be as wasted and belligerent as them?
Lucky for me, my involvement in cultural organizations on campus has yielded support and options for going out that don’t exclude drinking, but also do not center on it. The African Students Association and India Student Association both host great parties at the Angelic, Le Chard and the Majestic all focused on sweat ‘til you drop dancing and hot international music.
Recently ASA, ISA and the Wiconsin Black Student Union collaborated to throw a Halloween party at the Cardinal Bar, where alcohol was available, but the focus was on energy, dancing and bhangra, hip-hop and African music. Ticket sales topped $2,000 (profits went to educational events put on by the organizations), and the entry line was down the street the entire night. Even though the bar was there, the excitement of having such a diverse group of people together, going crazy and having fun, totally diverted the attention away from alcohol. Who wants to dance with that sloppy guy who doesn’t realize the rank gases he is releasing into the room or the wasted female who pukes onto your new Chucks?
These events prove that while not everyone wants to stop drinking heavily, the whole “don’t be the only jackass with club soda” mentality should be obsolete.
When the focus is taken off alcohol, it shifts to conversation and relationships. By attending events put on by ISA and ASA, I have established some of the most meaningful, genuine friendships I will come out of UW with.
In addition to new friendships, I have seen my pre-professional career catalyze. Although we are constantly fed images in the media of “business over drinks,” let me tell you from personal experience that it always serves you better as a junior, less-experienced employee or prospective employee to be the sober one. Whether at the staff Christmas party for my internship or with casual informational interviews at the Dane, I am on top of my game, even if my senior counterpart is slurring. No matter how comfortable a networking situation feels, the future employer who matters will remember you for being surprisingly mature and abstaining from drinking (no matter how many martinis he or she offer you at the time).
Don’t be afraid to stand out — in the end it is so worth it.
Please continue the conversation at uwbinge.ning.com
Audrey Buchanan ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism.
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lol, what the fuck is this Friday bullshit guys?
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Thank god someone said it. That is exactly how I feel. Exactly. There is no need to attack someone for not drinking. I can tell you from personal experience that fun is entirely possibly without a drink in your hand. And, at end of the day, the people you really want to be around (even if they are drinking) will respect you for that. PS. ASA and ISA are f-ing amazing!!! Everyone go to their events and parties.
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As your Dad, I am extremely proud of your decisions and courage! Well Done! Love, Poppa Buck
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What a great story. Who wants your best college memories to be clouded with regret…or worse, nights you’ll never remember? I know I’m not exactly my best when I’m drinking, so I also recently quit. It’s sad that people take it personally if others aren’t drinking. I think many people would be surprised to learn that not everyone needs to be wasted to have a great time. Kudos to the author for having the courage to do what’s right for her.
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first the column about wild pigs and now this. People must really be running out of ideas.
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Good for you Audrey! As someone who has always been a “light” drinker, preferring to only have one or two beers when going out, I am proud that you have decided to stand up to your so called “friends.” I just never understood if I was having a good time out and being sober, why people would be so concerned with how much I was drinking. It’s especially hard in this city where belligerence is praised as being the “real college experience.”
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Good article it’s about time someone let the truth out. People need to gradually learn to have fun without alcohol. As you said, music and dance can bring much more satisfaction than several drinks at the bar. You’re moving in the right direction
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As a 27 year old, I’ve gradually drank less and less over time, although I still have a glass of wine or two when out to dinner with my girlfriend and will still have the occasional ridiculous night. I think many of us find this a natural progression, especially as the hangovers last longer and longer and we start working grown up hours. That said, I drank like a fiend in college and don’t regret a minute of it.
On that note, though, it should be your choice to drink or not drink. However, there’s something people who choose to stop drinking when they’re young (college aged) often do that they don’t realize they’re doing. They brag. They brag about how much better their life is now that they don’t drink. For some people that’s true. Audrey, it sounds like you may have been a train wreck of a drunk. A fun train wreck, but a train wreck nonetheless. If you’re a train wreck of a drunk, you really shouldn’t drink. But when the people who’ve stopped drinking talk about how much better their life is now that they’ve stopped, this is how it comes off to those of us who still drink: My life is so much better THAN YOURS because I’ve stopped drinking much.
That said, I have no idea if any of you here do that. If you just go out with your friends and otherwise have a good time without mentioning the fact that you don’t drink as a major talking point and your friends give you a hard time, well, then they’re jerks. If you brag about the fact that you don’t drink anymore, well, then you’re the jerk.
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Audrey, This is some great writing! I’d love to see more of your work It’s so refreshing to hear the feedback on collaborative events, and I’m glad the turn out was great! It’s good to know that there are still things to do in Madison without having to drink yourself into a drunken stupor. I’m so proud of you for the choices you have made!
-Tolu
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I’m very happy that you no longer engage in dangerous behaviors and found a healthy balance for your life - I wish more students would. At the same time, I don’t like the insinuation that meaningful conversation/relationships/networking are mutually exclusive to alcohol. Students don’t need to limit themselves to 4 drinks per summer in order to achieve these things. You could easily have a half dozen drinks a week without ever getting drunk. Being able to partake in a glass of wine AND know your limit might be more desirable than blanket rules of abstention. I want to be clear this is not a criticism of sobriety. I just think that telling UW students to aim for a drink or two in a night is more reasonable than telling them to drink nothing at all.
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It is sometimes hard to make personal commitments where people might criticize you. Everyone assumes that if you don’t drink that you have a drinking problem, when in fact, you may have a made a decision to “just not partake.” Why is this seen as any different than other self-care behaviors, such as actively wearing a bike helmet or always wearing a seatbelt? The key is to not be critical of others who make different choices.
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Completely agreed. But I don’t think the article implies that completely abstaining is “the answer” - more that binge drinking is unecessary and can be dangerous. Everyone has to make their own choices. Props to the author for at least initiating this conversation.
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http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/16/us/16wisconsin.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=wisconsin&st=cse&oref=slogin
Looks like she had a relevant subject after all
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How is this at all newsworthy? I get that it’s the opinion page, but really?
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What is this? It seems like a “holier-than-thou” preachy message, yet there are shameless plugs for ISA/ASA and other student organizations. This whole thing is jumbled mess. The obvious is stated: it is possible to have fun without alcohol. It doesn’t seem like a huge epiphany and students already hear it from all sides.
The author tries to give advice from “personal experience” about interviews and careers, yet she did not establish any credibility in this article.
I guess anyone can be a guest columnist. You know what they say about opinions….