Assuming you are a student here in Madison, you might have received the same important e-mail sometime in the last couple of weeks. The subject line read “Congratulations! You have won a free HD television!” In case you didn’t immediately reply to that e-mail, I will give you the bad news: It turns out that companies don’t just give away $3,000 in electronics to whoever is on their mailing list.

Fortunately, you should have also received an e-mail that was more accurate and even more important to you. The e-mail I am referring to is, of course, the one that detailed information on the infamous norovirus that has been circulating throughout the campus over the last month or so. While there have been reports over the last few days that the spread of the virus has been largely contained, it would be a serious concern if the spreading were to resume.

The norovirus is a major concern not only because it can cause students to miss classes at such a crucial point in the semester, but also because it is difficult to spell, and when I type “norovirus” on Microsoft Word, that squiggly red line appears under it even though the dictionary says that is how it’s spelled. Frankly, I don’t see why the dictionary can’t get on the same page as Microsoft so that these situations don’t come up and cause me so much exasperation. For these reasons, I think it is crucial that we do all we can to make sure it doesn’t begin to spread again. And that is why I think it is important that we all read the e-mail we received from University Health Services.

According to the e-mail, the norovirus causes symptoms of gastroenteritis, which is also difficult to spell. It is natural to assume that a disease with a long name like that would be very serious. But in this case, it turns out that the worst symptoms it typically results in are diarrhea and vomiting.

Still, there is a segment of the population that would like to avoid even the less-serious of diseases, and University Health Services was nice enough to list what you can do to prevent this one. In case you missed it, here is what you do: Wash your hands. And that’s it.

Of course, everybody, including Health Services, knows the chances washing your hands will protect you from disease are about the same as the chances of an NBA official calling a travelling violation on Kobe Bryant.

So there may be no way to become less susceptible to a strain of norovirus, but you can at least feel comfort in knowing there are recommendations if you happen to fall victim to it. Besides the common sense things you can do if you have the virus, such as not going to work or class, not preparing food for others, not deliberately spitting into other people’s food when they aren’t looking, etc., the most important thing to do is to stay hydrated.

I am somewhat of an expert on hydration, as I grew up in a family of cross country runners. For those of you who don’t know, cross country is a sport that involves running as fast as possible for a distance most could not drive without stopping to stretch their legs, until the participants cross a finish line, at which point they stop running, collapse and try not to vomit from exhaustion. In other words: It’s a lot of fun! Cross country originated, of course, in ancient Greece, where a messenger named Pheidippides sprinted 26.2 miles to the city of Athens to deliver the message that Greece had won the Battle of Marathon. After finally reaching Athens, the messenger said one word, and then collapsed and died. That word was “Nike,” which, translated from ancient Greek, means “These sandals are giving me blisters.”

But history lessons aside, the concept of hydration is one that is very important to your average runner and I had much exposure to it growing up. Basically, it entails drinking whenever possible, which sounds good at first until you find out that you have to drink either water or a disgusting healthy beverage such as Vitamin Water. Runners will tell you that you cannot drink Mountain Dew, because it will actually dehydrate you, which seems a little unbelievable when you consider that Mountain Dew is made up of about 99 percent water. But apparently that is true of sodas and anything that tastes good, whereas the new Mint-Tropical Punch-flavored Vitamin Water, which costs $8.99 per 6-pack despite actually tasting like bathroom tile, is a superior hydrator.

So if you are trying to minimize the unpleasant effects of gastroenteritis, you may just have to put up with gimmicky drinks until you make it through. At any rate, if you are unfortunate enough to contract the norovirus, I hope that you now know what you can do to fight it. To those who are still healthy, consider yourselves lucky. And if you happen to come in contact with something that tastes like bathroom tile, you should probably wash your hands.

Todd Jasperson ([email protected]) is a graduate student in mathematics.