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I can’t help but be appalled after reading the story on Wednesday’s front page.
I’m not shocked by the story itself, as the depravity of humanity often reaches regrettably common lows. But despite the moral nadir rape represents, humanity usually has the sensibility to react to with understanding and reach out to victims in their hour of need. Even if the governmental services and welfare we provide fail to cushion the blows, we can at least offer a kind word and compassion to those affected by such a heinous crime.
But after reading the comments today, I am truly sickened.
While there were some offering anonymous solidarity with the victim and praising her for coming forward, others questioned the story. And that’s perfectly natural — the horrific nature of the victim’s situation seems so unbelievable, the missing information resonates that much more with those who want to dismiss such thoughts from their mind.
But the comments didn’t just doubt her — they were sometimes violently accusatory. She was called a liar, an attention-starved sorority girl who was making it up as she went along. Some comments could not be approved because of their unforgivably dehumanizing tone.
I don’t expect people to take the victim’s story at face value, but think about the situation — with the Madison Police Department confirming to a Herald reporter they are investigating the incident and that the university has been notified — and ask yourself whether you think someone would go to such lengths to implicate themselves in one of the most personally traumatizing crimes one human can do to another? There are people who cry wolf to get attention, certainly. But no one wants this kind of attention.
Which is mostly why it is so difficult for victims of sexual assault or rape to ever step forward. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, approximately 60 percent of sexual assaults are not reported to police.
For some reason, the doubting and vitriolic commenters assume rape is just as transparent as any other crime with an identifiable victim — you’re raped, you report it, the individual is arrested.
But I don’t think you can quite understand the feeling of rape until it hits you.
During my sophomore year, a freshman friend and I were having a long conversation in the late hours while overlooking Lake Mendota and the Lakeshore. The path was obscured from view in a pitch black night. After joking briefly about the path’s “Rapeshore” moniker, my female friend paused and looked over the lake and casually remarked she wouldn’t be phased if she was raped.
While it sounded to me like the words of a nihilist, she defended it with Christian faith. Her body meant nothing to her. They could have her body; they could treat her like a marionette, but they could not take her soul.
About a month or so later, she was date raped.
There was no soaring spirit left.
She became hard to talk to, distant and spiraled out of control for the next two years. She finally told me why she had lashed out at me in that time. By then, the damage was done and her life had been reduced to one question: “How have I lost the last two years?”
And I don’t think a good portion of this campus truly understands what an attack like that does to someone. I don’t know either, but I’ve had at least four close friends in my life raped. And all I can do is describe what I see in their faces — an absence of self.
It’s not just that their body has been violated or their dignity has been stripped of them — it’s that many victims believe they’ve lost their free will. In some cases they’ve lost their motivation to live. And when that happens, justice isn’t immediately on their minds. In fact, what may exist is sometimes no less than complete emotional paralysis. And when that happens, reporting a crime is extremely low on the list of priorities.
Now I’m not so gullible as to believe every claim of rape is the truth. I’m not asking you to believe Sigma Chi brothers are rapists. In fact, I’d rather we didn’t go searching for frat boys to lynch. I’m asking you to let the evidence prove who’s guilty and who’s innocent. Cases of sexual assault and rape have the potential to mangle the lives and psyches of everyone involved. If we start pointing fingers, the suspects we end up with could have their lives ruined immediately, regardless of whether they committed a crime or not.
But what I am asking is this — in the case of this alleged rape, understand it takes a monumental amount of courage for this girl to step forward and take back her life, especially in front of a college audience of 15,000. The police will verify her claims, UW will act appropriately, and we’ll hopefully get to the truth in this matter.
But we need to reach out to her and let her know her decision to step forward was the right one. If we discover this was all a ruse later on, then you can condemn her. But if we do that now, when she may indeed be telling the truth, then we have done far more damage to her as a community than the alleged perpetrators ever could.
Jason Smathers ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism and history.
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thank you smathers
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As usual, Smathers nails it on the head. Well done, sir.
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smart article. i dig it
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audrey seiler pretended to be abducted… that’s pretty damn bad too. kind of goes against your believe that nobody would debase theirself for attention… but i completely believe this story.
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THANK YOU Jason. I love the UW, and for the experiences I’ve had while here. But sometimes people here make me absolutely sick. Reading those comments yesterday almost made me vomit. The lack of maturity, the lack of compassion on the part of some individuals. That attitude that came out yesterday scarred my experience at UW.
I know nothing of the victim and even less of the Greek community here. But those individuals that lack the self respect to even THINK that this is all a hoax should look at themselves in the mirror, question their values as humans, and realize they are 18,19,20,21,22 years old and grow the fuck up. The worst part about all those comments is that when I read the article one of the first things that popped into my mind after dealing with the shock of the actual event was—I bet the comments at the Badger Herald are disgusting. And it is fairly obvious that those negative comments were written by men, and as a UW male I am once again ashamed of my sex and my University.
I honestly can not WAIT to graduate and leave this campus on May 17, 2009.
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Thanks for this.
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Nice to see the Herald actually can print good journalism. Amazing work.
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Yes. some people do lie about being raped. Some people, probably more, lie about not raping someone. The fact that she has not accused a single personand just wants justice should be enough to let the investigation carry on without questioning her story. Good piece on the fragility and often true nature of human sympathy.
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Thank you for providing some much-needed perspective. For those who made the comments, read Lucky by Alice Sebold- an excruciatingly painful and honest book about the consequences of rape.
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Great article.
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Mr. Smathers,
Excellent column.
What a lot of anonymous commenters yesterday do not understand is that if you don’t support someone coming out about getting raped you “chill” victims out of reporting rapes, period. Sure, it’s great to be as impartial as possible, but you have to balance that concern with the moral realization that not supporting even potential victims coming out about rape causes the crime to go underreported. We must give at least the basic claim of getting raped an extremely sympathetic and supportive benefit of the doubt every time it is made. Moreover, we should laud the fact that someone came out period with utmost praise. Any false accusations or incorrect details will eventually get sorted out by our judicial system and the 4th estate. Thus, claiming that the costs of lacking skepticism outweigh the costs of chilling rape victims from coming forward by doubting their basic claim of getting raped and not supporting them for speaking up is a BIG STINKING LOAD OF SHAT.
In this specific case, there is a preponderance of evidence that the woman was raped, short of some totally unbelievable conspiracy that assumes the woman is evil and that the MPD and DOS are lying about investigating the alleged rape (a combination of events that is close to impossible, unless we want to start doubting everything in existence). Sure, the roofie versus drunk claim is somewhat debatable, Sure, who specifically raped the woman is debatable. Sure, whether Sigma Chi should have been associated publicly with the events at this point is debatable. BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE FARKING POINT. The point is: A WOMAN, A FARKING FELLOW HUMAN BEING, WAS RAPED AND SHE IS A HERO FOR COMING OUT ABOUT IT, PERIOD. We need to support her coming out, or, and I am not even using hyperbole, we support rape (since underreporting a crime weakens the law’s deterrence against it happening).
-David Lapidus
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Finally some common sense and sensitivity.
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Thank you for this article. I was equally appalled by the comments, and frankly, I had to stop reading them because they were making me so upset.
Obviously, many on this campus are ill-informed when it comes to rape and acquaintance rape…It would be good to see discussions or information sessions to help (re)educate students to help crush the myths that they apparently still believe.
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while i normally do not agree with smather’s columns, this one said what needed to be said and I’m glad someone stepped up and wrote this. I too was appalled by the comment boards on the articles published yesterday. There is NO excuse for rape EVER! I just hope that the university takes necessary action appropriately and doesn’t just sit back like they have done in the past. thank you for writing this column jason!
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I am the victim’s sister, and I want to THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!! Thank you for stepping-up, thank you for being respectful, and most importantly, thank you for your insight! Reading the insensitive comments made yesterday were unbelievably frustrating. You can not even begin to imagine how much articles and support like this mean to my family. I want to thank everyone who defended my sister yesterday with their comments, too! Hopefully, with people stepping-up like this, horrific events (like that which happened to my sister) will be less likely to happen… Thank you again!!
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awesome job. less seriously, i miss your headphones.
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Great article. It’s about time that these imports start to act accordingly. Nothing will change though. These imports dont fit in with the good hearted culture of the midwest. Shut them down!
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Just a comment @3:26 comparing this to Audrey Seiler - Seiler didn’t intend to receive media attention. She freaked out one day and probably only intended for her boyfriend and family to care. This rape was something that happened months ago and that the victim is coming forward about. It is not an emotionally unstable woman who freaked out and the national media went crazy over it. Not to mention, if the victim was really attention seeking, why wouldn’t she release her identity?
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nice article, very powerful
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The best column that Jason Smathers has ever written. End of story.
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Bravo Jason! You penned a candid and essential read for the students of UW and for people nationwide. The silence and victim blame that exists allow these crimes to continue. I live in Chicago now but found this online and I applaud your article! Thanks!!
Angela Rose Founder and Executive Director PAVE: Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment www.pavingtheway.net www.angelaroseinfo.com