I enjoy reading attempts at gentility. To elaborate, I enjoy watching writers put the proverbial fluffy layer on their criticism. After all, nobody wants to get feelings hurt, right? Such was the case in an article regarding CNI’s ditching of their “booze plans.”

For the countless individuals who are unaware, CNI stands for Capitol Neighborhoods Inc. and their overall function is vague and ambiguous. They recently “voted unanimously this week for the temporary suspension of its Alcohol Issues Committee until its purpose can be reexamined.” What a splendid way of putting it. Why not just say “Hey, uhm, we’re going to postpone our little ‘group’ until we figure out what exactly it is that we’re doing.”

I believe there is a term for this: epic fail. CNI had proposed doubling citations for underage drinking, requiring ID scanners for 50 percent of the bars and increasing the beer tax. I will tell you why this group was forced to reexamine its purpose. They picked the wrong city to mess with. Madison (as far as I can tell) has always been, and will continue to be, marked by its academic prowess coupled with its intense alcoholism. As such, CNI’s actions seem counterintuitive. There is a saying called “go with the flow” and CNI failed to grasp this notion. Madison likes to drink. It’s not that the people of Madison are forced to drink, and regardless of how idealistic one can envision things, that simply will not change.

Our society is moving toward a frightening trend of forced self-help. People sit around thinking of ways they can change the world for the better, but half of the time they simply do not realize that forced change is worse than inaction. Yes, sometimes the world requires a single voice to push a group towards “the light at the end of the tunnel,” but those instances come few and far in between. The beautiful thing about our country is we have the opportunity to pursue self-deprecating practices without being pestered by annoying liberal or fascist governments. We are free to binge drink, we are free to challenge the ridiculous laws that try and curb it, and we are free to rebel against the authority that tries to keep it from others.

CNI, your plan to curb underage drinking failed because it is not wanted. You seek to change something that the rest of the student population does not, and you faced the consequences for that. Your failure to understand the real issue, society’s emphasis on turning to insurmountable amounts of alcohol as a means for entertainment and therapy, has led to your overall failure as a group. In the words of any respectable Internet gamer, ROFLZ @ YOU, PWNED.

If CNI wanted to make any sort of impact on the amount of “underage” drinking, they would do something to combat the mentality that produces it. And by that, I mean the mentality that the only way to have fun is to get absolutely wasted on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night. I wonder why no one has been able to do that yet. Hmm … really makes you wonder.

To put it bluntly, people respect ingenuity. People respect inventiveness. You know what’s not inventive? Underage drinking enforcement. That’s probably the least inventive thing of the 21st century, that and an eighth season of “American Idol.” People always speak of this “generational gap” that impedes on a fluid intellectual conversation between the young and the old(er). Yet nobody seems to even have attempted to cross it when it comes to underage drinking, and that is ultimately why CNI’s attempted drinking policy failed, and others like it will continue to do so. If you really want to enact a change, start acting like it and address the issue. We’re not as dumb as you think, and your attempts at face value change will only be met with stark criticism and further pwnage.

Alex Frecon ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in English.