Students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison fall into three demographics: those who genuinely care, those who pretend to care and those who are completely indifferent. As life on campus starts back up and recruitment efforts for student organizations and volunteer work are in full swing, it is important to find out in which category you fall. Are you someone who not only detests suffering but is doing something about it? Are you someone who regurgitates others’ opinions, blindly supports causes and fights against only the trendiest injustices? Or are you apathetic to the world?

First, allow me to speak about those who pretend to care: Any college is destined to be filled with these falsely inspired Wiki-informed world changers. UW is no exception. These are people who wear “Livestrong” bracelets but are overweight and smoke. Who claim to be Rastafarian but really just like weed and dreadlocks, and who think “No Woman, No Cry” is an awesome song. Who have tattoos of Che Guevara on their chests, but don’t know what country he was from. Who spend two hours reading about an issue on Wikipedia and become moved enough to join a Facebook group. Who had two hours to waste on a Tuesday afternoon after reading The New York Times or watching Fox to memorize their favorite columnist’s plan for a better world only to repeat it later as if it were their own. These are people who try desperately to appear opinionated and worldly but, most of the time, have no idea what they’re talking about. And it drives me nuts.

Afraid of appearing ignorant, most less-informed people will avoid challenging the merits of these individuals. This only perpetuates the problem: Those who seize the hottest issue and speak out about it before they have a full understanding of the facts are never deterred from doing so; those who avoid calling them out feel compelled to quickly read up and formulate half-baked opinions of their own.

I will just declare now that I, David Carter, am ignorant. I represent the demographic of those apathetic to the world. I try to live morally, but over an average day, most issues just don’t affect me. When it comes to “saving the whales” or “freeing Tibet” I, frankly, don’t care. And why should I? I don’t know a Japanese whale hunter nor do I know a Tibetan monk. The common person just doesn’t have the time to care about problems occurring outside of their own world. But my “checking out” is more than laziness or apathy. It’s a statement, a choice, a lifestyle. It’s goddamn American.

But then there really are those that are genuinely concerned about an issue. You understand the facts. You are truly sickened by others’ hardships. You work at trying to make things right the best that you know how. I may not join you, but I’ll applaud you. It is you for which I also have sympathy. You have the difficult job of trying to motivate people like me. You also deal with people who prematurely speak out or haphazardly join groups or clubs before being sufficiently informed, cheapening the true spirit of your noble causes.

For those of you truly interested in becoming involved on campus, this is the time of year to do it. The year is just starting, which means that student organizations are just now regrouping. It’s important to get involved. It’s even more important, however, to get involved for the right reasons. Do it because you care. If you care, then by all means join a group or volunteer your time. There is an abundant assortment of righteous political groups on campus. There’s also the Morgridge Center for Volunteering, located in the Red Gym. The staff there is more than helpful. They can serve as your gateway to volunteer opportunities all over Madison, from hospice care to habitat restoration.

But for those for whom awareness of present-day issues is simply a way to create a fa�ade of intelligence and worldliness, I propose you watch from the sidelines until you really understand what the hell you’re talking about. You’re ruining the experience for those that take these matters seriously.

For those of you, like me, that struggle just to find enough purpose to get out of bed in the morning, don’t lose hope. Remember, we are the lifeblood that energizes inactivity. We are responsible for maintaining the status quo. We slow progress to a crawl. We proudly do this without meetings or marches. In fact, we make this big impact with profoundly little effort. We do it by simply choosing to change the channel from CNN to Tyra as we crack another beer.

Ours is a cause many are getting behind. In one of the biggest voter turnouts in history last fall, roughly 59 million of us stayed home. So, I know this high-octane, in your face, and at times pretentious political atmosphere here at UW can make you feel like you’re the only one out there who doesn’t care. Well, I’m here to tell you that I’m with you, along with about 58,999,999 others. And there is something important that the more-involved crowd can learn from us: Nothing is simply a case of right and wrong. There is always the option of indifference. Sometimes saying, “I don’t know” shows greater intelligence and respect for an issue than concocting some drivel-filled opinion about it.

We the ignorant are a large demographic. I’d like to think we’re waiting for the right issue, like a single person waits for the right man or woman to fall in our lap. But regrettably, I’m slowly learning that it doesn’t happen this way. In my journey through indifference, I have come to find that issues, even those that affect and elicit an opinion from me, can’t be changed from the couch (choosing an American Idol finalist notwithstanding). It sucks, I know. But consider that if all 59 million members of the Indifference Party collaborated, maybe our votes for the next election could be texted in. Anything is possible.

Again, I tell you all of this because this is the time of year that campus organization recruiters become most active. Some are genuine, others are not. Some, although they seem like they care, are in it for the wrong reasons. And they’ll be out there, lurking in the bushes with sign-up sheets, searching for others to join their fight. Be prepared. Be knowledgeable. Don’t be lured by promises of free pizza. Don’t be fooled by just any presentation, no matter how elaborate. Make sure you join something you have a vested interest in. The opportunities to join a club and volunteer are out there. The opportunity may even be shoving a flier in your face as you read this.

So whether you genuinely care, are pretending to or are just an ignorant son of a bitch like me, we should all be proactive in learning about what it is we truly care about and finding the right way to express it. Until I find out what that is, you’ll be able to find me at home, accidentally spilling Fruity Pebbles down my bare chest as I watch Maury, wasting another day.

David Carter ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in forestry.