H 32°, L 7° | Tomorrow: 
H 17°, L 4°Saturday proved to be a good football game. A beautiful day, a close Badger victory, and, even for advocates of eliminating the “Eat Shit, Fuck You,” the profanity seemed more subdued; perhaps because there was actually a good game to watch. Could it have gotten any better? Yes, it could have. We could have sat down.
Although I admit to having only a few friends who are very seriously invested in Badger football, I can say with utmost certainty I have yet to meet one person who has rejected my belief that football games would be more fun if the students sat down. Many more contend the game would be exponentially more fun if we could sit down and drink a beer, but now is the time to advance realistic causes.
Why do people stand up in the first place? Because they’re too excited to stay seated? Frankly, the biggest fans in the stadium — the alums for whom Badger games represent a time before everything got so unbearably boring — are probably in the regular seats, where they sit, not stand.
What’s worse is the few times when students do get to sit — during half time or when we do that thing where you shake the person in front of you back and forth — the bleachers are often too filthy to sit comfortably on. They’re muddy from shoes and sticky with spilt soda.
Where did standing up start? I’m convinced the tradition of standing shares its source with another great American tradition: the traffic jam. Just as one car slows down to take a peek at an accident, standing was probably started when one guy in 1935 stood up to get a better view of a gruesomely injured player being carried off the field. He stood up, blocking his neighbors behind him. Having paid good money to witness bloodshed, they stood up as well. The rest is history. Or at least my best guess at it.
Although, as stated before, I have never met somebody who opposes the idea of sitting at games, one could make the argument standing is the only way for some to stay awake after a hearty pregame. I simply disagree — if anything, standing, especially in miserable heat, only brings on the fatigue faster.
There are two more arguments against sitting down. One is it takes up more bleacher space than feet. Sorry UW, but your ass is fat. In addition, sitting down would make it harder for people to move out of their seats to use the restrooms and whatnot. These criticisms of my plan are fair, but not nearly as important as the overarching goal my policy promotes: to watch a game and enjoy it in utter relaxation.
I would also make the argument sitting down promotes shared human warmth during the colder months, but given the current concerns about swine flu, we can forget about that point. Pretend you didn’t read it.
Ideally, the push for “seating reform” would come from a strong grassroots movement of students who insist on sitting down, and attempt to start a chant to force others to follow suit: “Everybody sit down.” Over time, it might catch on.
However, the task could probably be accomplished with the strong helping hand of the UW administration. For starters, they could designate a certain portion of the seats as sitting and other as standing. At least try one section — say, P.
There are more democratic options if UW finds tyranny distasteful. If enough people sign a petition, will they put a request on the big screen for us? In fact, if they’re really interested in getting rid of the profane student chants, maybe they ought to find a substitute: “Sit down, shut up.” The result may be one side of the student section would sit down and other would stand.
I know I’m not the only one. Those of you out there who’ve ever left a game early because of a leg cramp, heat stroke or a strong desire to sit on a bar stool, make yourselves heard. Stand up for your right to sit.
Jack Craver ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in history. He is also the editor of a local politics and culture blog, The Sconz.
IP hash: 3ea20252
This isn’t Michigan…we stand when we watch football games.
IP hash: 5f4f73d3
I’d be happy if everyone stood on the wider concrete instead of on the bleachers. But sitting down during the game? No way!
IP hash: a57e2843
The students suck it up for the football team! Badger games would in no way be the same if the students sat down, i’m disgusted by the thought. the fact that we stand up is so we can proudly display our badger spirit! if you want to sit down so bad, sit down, or just get regular seats.
IP hash: 6e400d58
Are you kidding? Have fun executing your “sitting reform”. Im lazy but come on
IP hash: fc1e2d9c
Somehow, I dont think the targets of this article are going to get it.
IP hash: 124d5d4f
You have got to be kidding me. This is one of the worst ideas I have ever heard.
IP hash: a190db1b
Are you kidding me? Obviously you have no badger pride. Standing is a great way to support your team, get excited for the game and intimidate opponents. There’s a reason why we have such a great home record. If you don’t want to stand, get out of the damn student section. If you want to be comfy watch the game at home. You’re a badger damn it, act like one.
IP hash: 9779f4fc
I’m with you on this one Jack
IP hash: e0f1e619
To all of you who are tired,lazy, and want to be comfy at football games: DON’T BUY TICKETS THEN!! Except for some clueless incoming freshman, you knew what you were getting into when you first bought student tickets. Watch the game from a bar or your own living room; there are plenty of fans ready and willing to take your place. And I thought there where some lazy, whiny students when I went to UW…you sir have just raised the bar on lack of tradition and pure laziness. Seriously, has the Opinion section of the BH suddenly turned into the Onion? That’s the only reason I can come up with for such drivel being allowed print space.
IP hash: 8f14504f
If you have trouble standing for 3 hours, you have more serious medical issues on their way that should concern you way more.
IP hash: ac9a9558
Jack, what looks more exciting to you? A group of people sitting on bleachers, or a group of people standing and cheering. It’s kind of ridiculous to ask people who are truly excited about something to sit down and hold their energy in. When you hear that someone is “bursting with energy”, are they sitting down? At the end of a show, do people remain seated or do they give a standing ovation? Your article is ridiculous, sir.
IP hash: 7828867c
“I can say with utmost certainty I have yet to meet one person who has rejected my belief that football games would be more fun if the students sat down”.
Based on your previous comment, I would like to meet with you as I’m sure a large portion of the student section would. It might help for you to get out of the coffee shop and talk to actual Badger football fans because I’m sure many, if not most (and I can say this utmost certainty) would strongly disagree with you.
I have my own story on how this phenomenon started. Standing probably started on November 9th 1935 when…the Badgers won their only game of the year against Purdue. They won 8-0 that game, marking the only win of the year, but the most important part of the game was when one Badger student who was sick of sitting there watching his team lose, had the pride to stand and cheer on his team after taking the lead. Though many of the other fans (who would rather have stayed sitting) gave a dissatisfied glare, this lone Badger fan STOOD his ground and cheered on his mighty Badgers. They went on to win the game. Though the rest of the season did not follow with the same success, other students saw that encouragement and the connection to each other, the game and the athletes and joined in, vowing to make it a Badger tradition to stand and cheer on their team, win or lose.
So I ask you, are we going into Camp Randall to watch a ballet or to participate in a sporting event where we want to intimidate our foes, encourage our athletes and enjoy the company of 80,000 other cheering Badger fans?
Frankly, I think you should do as you say…”Sit down and Shut up” and leave the rest of us to “Stand up and Stay Loud!”.
On Wisconsin!
IP hash: 94925203
Seriously? What happened to your school spirit? If you can’t stand then get a regular ticket as you have no right being in the student section.
IP hash: 3cf4a026
I think you guys all missed the point. This article was a sarcastic rip at the fans who DO sit down, leave early, and refuse to follow the traditions of the student section. Clearly, it was wasted on you.
IP hash: 44b12d79
Yeah, you would agree Kurt. Why don’t you guys leave the tickets for people who are willing to stand and not bitch about it. Go watch in a bar. We will all be happier that way. I wouldn’t want to stand OR sit at a game next to either of you smug ass holes.
IP hash: 58782000
If you want to sit down, don’t get a student season ticket, and instead buy a ticket and sit with the old people. That’s what I do. And it rocksss.
IP hash: d19649c9
I love the commenters who go on about the student section displaying badger spirit. I’d believe it if they showed up in time for the first quarter.
IP hash: 99ae69a8
At least we don’t have a douchey tradition surrounding the whole standing thing like Texas A&M, where the students stand because one of them could be called into action AT ANY MOMENT.
IP hash: 44b12d79
Notice: The BH censored one of my previous comments because I addressed one of the earlier commenters by name when the commenter himself supplied it. I suspect this column wasn’t serious. BH writers like to do this satire because they have nothing legitimate to write about. Seriously, this is the best thing you could think of Jack? Ed Murrow would hate you. So do the rest of us in the J school. Nighty night.
IP hash: 4650b502
“the biggest fans in the stadium � the alums for whom Badger games represent a time before everything got so unbearably boring”
Clearly you know absolutely nothing about wisconsin football. Up until Barry Alverez’s time as head coach, Wisconsin football was AWEFUL. You complain that wisconsin football is so unbearably boring - can you imagine the football games without the songs or dances that make wisconsin football what you would call unbearably boring but the rest of us call a good time? I’m ashamed to go to the same school as you. Please transfer to Carleton immediately.
IP hash: 4863e6cc
If this is satire, it’s pretty terrible.