H -°, L 7° | Tomorrow: 
H 17°, L 4°I have bad hair. I admit it. I’m going bald, my hairline is receding and my beard is overgrown with reckless abandon. A friend once commented on my “hat hair.” I asked him how often this describes my condition. “Interminably,” he responded.
And you know what? I do not care. But the lovely ladies at the AXE Hair Crisis Relief Center would scold me for my apathy. They’re offering free hair stylings at Nogginz to all male students through this Friday, and if you’ve walked down State Street this week, you’ve probably heard a cacophony of female voices announcing (screaming, really) this generous offer.
If you’re a heterosexual male at UW, there’s a fair chance you took them up on their offer. Was your hair stylist sufficiently sexy? How many AXE products were you lulled into buying? Call me a moralist, but this is the dumbest (and most culturally sinister) promotional event I have seen in Madison.
For weeks now, AXE has been promoting this weeklong haircutting orgy with slogans like “Get Girl-Approved Hair” and ominous warnings that “Every 3 seconds, a hook-up fails,” ostensibly because the guy in question did not get their hair cut by the AXE Hair Crisis Relief Center. An advertisement for the AXE affair in this newspaper reads, “GIRLS — you know the guys we’re talking about. Urge them to attend. GUYS — a few minutes of your time could improve your game forever.”
It might well be the case that “every 3 seconds a hook-up fails,” though I’ve had trouble locating the source of this important sociological finding. At any rate, it used to be that advertisements, even if they were suggesting that [insert product here] would improve your sex life, had the good sense to be subtle and tasteful. Not anymore. This is the first time (beyond late-night channel surfing) that I have seen the phrase “hook-up” used explicitly in a product advertisement. Make no mistake: Not only are we the “hook-up generation” — the belief that the “hook-up” is not only desirable but also morally acceptable has become mainstream.
And that’s not good. I’m no Rush Limbaugh or Pat Robertson. I have no words for Brother Jed, the male-chauvinist zealot who preaches on Library Mall with disturbing regularity.
But I know objectification when I see it, and I know we live in a culture that objectifies attractive women and men.
I feel sorry for the girls whose job it is to run down State Street, luring horny male students into their salon for the most sensual haircuts of their lives. It must be a humiliating affair to sit through training workshops on how to drain the pocketbooks of unsuspecting male passersby.
I feel sorry for the guys who think buying $50 worth of AXE products will solve their romantic problems — who will discover soon enough they have no idea how to make their hair look as good every morning as it will after this one stupid haircut in this one pathetic salon.
I feel sorry for the girls on this campus who don’t just care about what their boyfriends’ hair looks like, who know what love is actually about (hint: it ain’t physical appearance.) The AXE Hair Crisis Relief Center does not represent their viewpoint. And the most beautiful women I know have no time for those who attempt to speak for them in this demeaning fashion.
Most of all, I feel sorry for anyone — male or female, gay or straight — who could walk past a sign announcing that “every 3 seconds a hook-up fails” and legitimately believe this is a problem to be remedied. I feel sorry for the guy or girl whose weekend is spent looking for sex. This does not necessarily have anything to do with religion or morality (though for many, myself included, the connection will be obvious.) No — at a more basic level, it’s about self-respect and human dignity.
Our generation has a choice. We can be the hook-up generation — which, since alcohol abuse and random hook-ups are so highly correlated, might well make us the alcoholism generation as well.
Or we can be the generation that cures AIDS and cancer, travels to Mars, proves string theory, perfects the quantum computer and establishes contact with life elsewhere. That writes a greater American novel than “The Great Gatsby,” makes a better movie than “Citizen Kane” and paints a better painting than “Starry Night.”
That brings the world’s great religions into civil harmony, ends nuclear proliferation, develops the perfect economic system, eradicates the last vestiges of racism and chauvinism from our society, solves world hunger and ends genocides. And we can be the generation that — last but not least — makes our children feel loved and valued irrespective of their physical appearances.
We should not — and cannot — be both. Our capacity for greatness is inversely proportional to our willingness to humiliate, degrade and objectify ourselves and others.
So guys, if you’re contemplating getting your free haircut at Nogginz this week, save your time. There’s nothing there for you.
Eric Schmidt ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in political science.
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awesome article, eric
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Hear hear, Mr. Schmidt!
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Thanks for saying this Eric.
There’s so much I would like to say about this, it’s such a huge issue that involves questions of morality, personal dignity, the habits of a whole generation that are hard for us to objectively see, et cetera.
I too was disgusted when I saw that shit about AXE coming around here offering guys haircuts.
I know sex is good on a primal level. It does good things for stress. It resets the mind and helps people with their happiness.
But it also involves dignity. We aren’t animals. We are humans who need to feel dignified. So the way we view/present sex on a public level should reflect, be symbolic of, and do justice to our conscious, sentient nature.
It truly is humiliating when sex becomes inane and commodified by companies like AXE.
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sex sells and always has…dont act like this is a new phenomenon…just look at Marylin Monroe back in her hay day
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oh my god this one takes the cake
every generation has been drinking alcohol and hooking up and fucking and spraying their man juice on a significant other’s face
they went to the moon, defeated communism, beat polio, and gave birth to you. stop trying to sound old and wise.
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probably, but i still lost all respect for Nogginz hair salon. i’ll probably never go there again for this complete alienation of their male4male clientele
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Again Eric, I must compliment you on your appreciation of finer tastes: Great Gatsby & especially, Citizen Kane
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Some good points, but realize that every generation thinks that they are the most “blank.” Treating women poorly and drinking rediculous amounts ofalcohol are certainly not isolated characteristics of the 21st century.
Another point I like to introduce regarding this topic is that I agree that our generation is extremely casual with our sexuality, but this should be viewed in light of the positive effects of the women’s liberation movement. It sound weird but when women were in much dire situations in terms of equality, they did not have the freedom to choose to get drunk or chose to be permiscuous. While I agree it’s a negative side effect, I do think it represents a larger positive phenomenon.
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Mr. Schmidt, if you were scoring some tail, you would not have written this opinion. Cut the beard, trim your hair, tuck in your shirt, don’t be so self conscious, and talk to some ladies. Sex sells, Eric, because everyone wants it; even ladies.
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Yes Eric, talk to some ladies ;)
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Man, Eric needs to talk to some ladies. Drunk ones, preferably, because they can do that now.
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if hooking up is so wrong, why does it feel so right?
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Because the devil is talking.
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Then move to India where they banned the Axe chocolate commercial because of its overly sexy tones. It’s advertising: come get a free styling and buy the stuff that made you look this good, with the special bonus of having it done by attractive women. It’s smart. The people that fall for it are stupid, and that’s how corporations make their money, and how they have been for a long time, much before our generation. You’re ignorant if you think that they haven’t been doing this kind of advertising for decades.
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“Mr. Schmidt, if you were scoring some tail, you would not have written this opinion. Cut the beard, trim your hair, tuck in your shirt, don�t be so self conscious, and talk to some ladies. Sex sells, Eric, because everyone wants it; even ladies”
Fuck yeah, dude. Well put.
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Fuck writing a book. I’d rather get my dick wet.
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I will second that.
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Hell, some people have and can do both.
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Write a book WHILE getting your dick wet.
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I just don’t understand why things like this have to be made into something so controversial. Did you write this because you ran out of things to be offended by, or you got bored of protesting for fair trade coffee?
This hair salon used attractive women to lure male customers. So? First of all, it’s a hair salon. This isn’t the kind of place people look to for morality, it’s just the place they go to get their haircut. If you are really this let down by a salon, I feel like you will spend most of your life disappointed in mankind’s morality. Second, (the vast majority of) men are attracted to women and advertisers play to that. So what? If guys are dumb enough to think that these women are actually flirting with them, maybe they don’t need that $25 anyway.
Next, why is hooking up a moral evil? Why does sexuality have to be such a negative? Provided that you are being responsible/safe: it’s great stress relief, it’s exercise (can I get a witness from the congregation on this one?) it is the most intimate way you can get to know another human, it doesn’t hurt ANYONE else besides the two involved (or 3, or 4-anymore and you’re just being selfish), and it feels good. Shouldn’t that make it a positive? Does today’s society still cling to the puritanical belief that just because something gives us pleasure we should feel guilty about it, or that it must be the devil?
Also, because of the loose sense of the term “hook-up” this could mean anything from all-out f*ckin’ to making out. Even for all you sexual purists, is kissing someone morally reprehensible? Hell, it’s a hug goodbye after a great night at the bar for some. And who cares?
As far as society objectifying women and men- do they not make that choice? If you are going to preach and say that using attractive, curvy women to sell products is objectifying and using women, do you not ignore the fact that these women chose to be a part of this? It’s like telling a woman she has the opportunity to do anything she wants to do in today’s world, and then scorn her when she CHOOSES to be a stay-at-home mom. Live and let live dude.
I really am disappointed in the author of this article. If you don’t agree with the other students who wish to give in to their hormones and “chase tail” (this includes guys AND girls, they have been freed sexually and more power to them when they go out and get what they want), that is fine. But don’t look down your nose at these people. Having sexual feelings shouldn’t be something that we repress or find immoral. That is what the sexual revolution was all about. Do we need to have another?
Or should we repent and start sending you checks and money orders for indulgences…?
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Let me ask you a couple questions: What kind of shampoo do you use? What kind of clothes do you wear? What kind of car do you drive? What kind of residence do you live in? Where do you go out to eat?
I ask because my point is this: whether or not you think you control your decisions regarding the products you buy and use, you are wrong. Every decision we make is influence from somewhere. Think about when you go buy your shampoo.. you walk down an isle with literally hundreds of options. What makes you pick out a particular shampoo? The packaging perhaps? (playing on the science of how colors, shapes, and design elicit an emotional response, be it conscious or subconscious, to influence your decision). Maybe its the scent? (again, why do you think something smells good? Because you hope others think it will smell good). Maybe it’s at eye level? (the shampoo company pays the store for shelf placement). You lose no matter what buddy.
Stop wining about marketing techniques. As others have mentioned, sex always has and always will sell. It a function of evolution (oh wait, you probably still think we came from Adam and Eve). Past generations faced more repression and still accomplished extreme feats of science, engineering, world peace, etc.
Axe just so happens to have concocted a brilliant marketing program that targets a specific demographic. believe it or not, college students hook up. Its a fact that is influence by the media, history, hormones, new found freedom, and booze. I’m in my late 20’s and I use Axe. Why? because the product works well. Its cheaper than almost all other styling products, and it works better.
Also, Axe gives out FREE product at the barber shop along with a FREE haircut which is just down right economical.
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Thank you Axe marketing spokesman, for your lovely pitch.
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To sit in there and watch the guys eye up the girls was disgusting. Great article
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Not eyeing up the girls would be even more disgusting, weird.
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So what…….it happens everyday, everywhere. It sounds like you’re mad that they aren’t eyeing you. Get over it!!!!!
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I think this is a great article, Eric.
Axe commercials are ridiculous. You would never see that marketing campaign done with women/the roles reversed…
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Really? Have you ever seen the side of an Abercrombie bag? Or been around when they have shirtless guys just walking around the entrance?
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Are you guys serious????? Get a life! Before you write your STUPID comments you should take a moment and find out the facts. Axe isn’t pushing anyone to buy anything….they are giving products away. I went today and got my free haircut and I was pleased to see that it was the Nogginz staff doing the cutting. So I got the same good haircut and some free stuff, I save $17.00 plus… what’s not to like? If I owned a business and some big company said to me that they will put hundreds of students in my store that my or may not have been there before, I would think that’s a no brainer, sign me up. I like Axe…I have been using thier products for years and if you don’t like Axe…..then don’t go. I can’t see why someone would have an opionion about it, get a life!
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I agree. I hate Axe products but I’m going over tomorrow or Friday. Why the hell not? Their commercials are stupid and you’ll never find me purchasing anything they are selling, but I’ll gladly take a free haircut from the place I normally pay $17 for one at.
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Thanks for the article, Eric. ‘Girl-Approved Hair.’ So where do the guys who have no interest in girls go? This campaign is not only obnoxious but incredibly exclusive. You’d think a men’s grooming product company as large as AXE would aim to include all men in their consumer demographic.
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Dude, most of the men/guys in town are not homosexual but if it sounds better to you than you should go there and get “man approved hair”. Why do people have a problem with free haircuts? If I owned Axe and was promoting hair products I would do the same thing. They want to put it in your hair some that you might purchase it in the future, big deal
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I’m actually a female student, and while you’re right that the majority of men in Madison are not gay, they do make up a significant portion of the population - and a very important demographic in the grooming product industry. your assumptions about my sex and the gay population of Madison reflect the incompetence of the AXE campaign in its aim to sell product to men.
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Why are you people turning this into a gay thing? Gay has nothing to do with anything! The gay guys and women in town will probably enjoy seeing awhole lota cleaned up guys with fresh cuts and smelling better than they did.
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I agree, what does gay have to do with this? Gay guys appreciate good looking girls. How successful would AXE be if they advertised “guy approved hair” be real.
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Whatever! Pretty girls everwhere and a great haircut! Thank you Axe! Come back next year, PLEASE.
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Eric, it looks like you would benefit from a makeover from there. You wrote this and you never experienced it. BAD REPORTING Eric.
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Opinion section, not reporting, check your section freshman.
BAD COMMENTING
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yea Eric..you should get your facts straight before you write an article about something that you dont know anything about. I waited in line today for an hour..got a great haircut.. then a great shampoo..my hair dryed and axe goop in my hair and it was awesome!!! well worth the wait! No one tried to push any axe stuff on me. I fact I got a bunch of free trial sizes. Great Campaign!
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AXE is perfume, still feel like a man?
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So are they doing this again tomorrow or what?
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Eric, 1) you obviously didn’t attend the event because in no way did I think the girls working tried throwing themselves at me to sell me the product, THEY AREN’T EVEN SELLING PRODUCTS AT THE EVENT THEY ARE GIVING THEM FOR FREE 2) The hairstylists working are the lovely stylists that work at Nogginz year round which was nice to see 3) This is a brilliant marketing campaign and shows with the success of AXE. What exactly are you studying, obviously nothing business related because you don’t get the concept of branding to fit your target market. 4) Just because you may or may not be heterosexual doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate attractive people or guys that groom themselves 5) Get your facts right before you report. Putting the people down that put on this event is downright ridiculous. They are helping us out with free haircuts and trial products. I think it’s a great way to promote directly to college students, and based on the amount of guys I see in the waiting room every time I walk by, they’re doing a great job
Find a better way to get your facts, no one wants to hear your false information and bitching because you don’t like girls, grooming, or good looking people and AXE doesn’t cater to your personal fantasies.
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Ya dude going on till 6 pm Friday
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I agree, why are people turning this into a gay thing? Only in Madison…
The VAST majority of guys on this campus are heterosexual. Yes, homosexuals are not rare, but still not a significant population compared to heterosexual guys. There is no way AXE can market to EVERYONE. Do you get this upset when Miller runs ads about football or sports because you don’t watch either? Do you get this upset when DOVE has a “real women” campaign, but nothing for guys? Or how about when chipotle gives out free food, do you protest because its not fair because YOU don’t like burritos?
Of course, this is an opinion piece, not news, so Eric has every right in the world to pontificate as he sees fit. However, I must say I chuckle to myself and think “oh dude, you have a lot to see and learn in this world” when I read this and think of you. Have a beer this weekend (and no, according to your last article, this does NOT make it necessary for you to go to AA) and just relax.
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word im getting one
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Other than the nice girls cutting hair, aren’t the AXE Girls UW students, just like Bud Girls, Red Bull Girls, ect. that we see (not Eric) at the bars and clubs every weekend giving stuff away? I mean come on. AXE wants to give new shampoos and gels to men and they’re doing here at a hairshop that I’ve been going to for the last 3 years, VERY NICE. Out of all the campuses in the US I’m glad AXE decided to come here to give students free haircuts and stuff. If this bothers you than you have a very stressful life ahead of you.
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I heard spraying AXE� Body Spray down your treasure trail makes girls give you hummers, confirm/deny?
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denied - twice
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Hey Eric- I see that on May 25,2009 the Badger Herold wrote an article praising Nogginz Hairshop for thier good haircuts and nice environment.
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Well I’m sold! Gettin this mop chop tomorrow. They’re going to hate me. This head is a mess!
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Eric Schmidt = a man among boys
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A real man wouldn’t be bothered with pretty AXE girls.
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“It must be a humiliating affair to sit through training workshops on how to drain the pocketbooks of unsuspecting male passersby.”
I got a free haircut and didn’t spend a dime nor felt obligated to. Did you even go to this event or meet the people you’re trash talking?
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“Eric, it looks like you would benefit from a makeover from there. You wrote this and you never experienced it. BAD REPORTING Eric”
well put. what a douche
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Agreed that the whole AXE thing is ridiculous, and that “hook-ups” being the be-all end-all of our generation is pretty pathetic. But come on, it’s a free haircut! I’m not going to pass that up.
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I think its great that Nogginz is doing this. I am a female who gets my hair done there and they do a great job. Maybe you can focus more on getting a good, free haircut and FREE product instead of how disgusted you are. You have to remember its a salon in a college town just trying to have some fun and try something new. Its kind of sad that this guy feels so passionately against a free haircut from some good stylists.
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Axe is the bomb. Don’t h8.
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Nogginz is an awesome place to get a great haircut! Great staff, great atmosphere and great service! Its awesome they’re giving out free haircuts to us. THANK YOU NOGGINZ!!
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Nogginz is an awesome place to get a great haircut! Great staff, great atmosphere and great service! Its awesome they’re giving out free haircuts to us. THANK YOU NOGGINZ!!
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well obvionsly you dont know your facts beacause this article makes no sense… and if you knew what was good for you, you whould go to nogginz and get “girl approved hair” because you need help with you game.
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well obvionsly you dont know your facts beacause this article makes no sense… and if you knew what was good for you, you whould go to nogginz and get “girl approved hair” because you need help with you game.
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I’m really dissapointed in this article. If you are a guy, and you really think that getting this haircut can improve your game, you deserve to spend ‘$50’ on hair product. It’s the same premise as a guy thinking the cute bartender wants to go home with him/ get his number because she’s serving him drinks. It’s the same premise as the guy who thinks the stripper is in love with him/ thinks he’s attractive because she’s taking off her clothes in front of him. If you really believe this stuff, you’re an idiot and deserve to be hustled for you money.
On the other hand, if you’re an intelligent human being, you’ll take advantage of the free product/hair cut and be on your way.
It’s a marketing campaign Eric, and a successful one at that. They are promoting their product with beautiful women and catchy phrases. WOW, this is new.
These girls chose to do this job. In my opinion, if you are a good looking girl, you are smart to do a job like this. You aren’t going to go scold a man who is tall and athletic for playing professional basketball. It’s women using what they have to get what they want. If this upsets you, Mr. Schmidt, then one day, if you’re lucky enough to ‘hook-up’ and you procreate, teach your daughter you think that is ‘immoral’.
And you know what, if you don’t believe in the ‘hook-up’ culture, then don’t participate. But do not look down on people who are doing this because they WANT to. Free will.
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Thank you for saying this. I would like to, for once in my life, go on a proper date in which I don’t feel pressured to hook up. On a side note, if you smell like axe, I won’t be sleeping with you anyway.
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The arguments here prove what I’ve known all along: that mankind is fucked up. Aside from the “Superexpert humanists” that say morality is subjective, most of the people who criticize this article claim that the author is simply sad about not getting laid; mankind has his own opinions and will stick by them. The author is right that less sexual influence would cause people to make their own decisions at least a little more and prevent STDs, and these humanist people might be right that morality is subjective, but, ultimately, noone can prove anything about anything. NOONE WANTS THE TRUTH, THEY JUST WANT THE TRUTH TO CATER TO THEM. It’s true, I’m guilty of it as well, reflect on my cynical words.