For 51 weeks, we’ve been holding our breath in eager anticipation for whatever brilliant advertising pitch GoDaddy.com springs on Super Bowl watchers this Sunday. Will Danica Patrick further aid the legitimacy of women in auto racing by dressing in a bikini? Will the commercial cut off right before something PG-13 happens, only to tell us we can “see it all” online? Will it be funny?

Scientists cannot accurately answer the first two questions, but everyone north of 14 years old knows it won’t make you laugh. However, judging by at least one talked about Super Bowl ad, funny isn’t the goal. Instead, this year’s all about moralizing to an audience of several million wing-stuffed gluttons.

The commercial causing so many to ask “Wasssupp with that?” [Ed. Note: No, it wasn’t funny 10 years ago, either] is an anti-abortion spot featuring former Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow. Tebow, for those of you who’ve missed Bristol, Conn.’s attempts to canonize him on live TV, is a Heisman trophy-winning athlete who, like David Robinson and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin before him, has an affinity for Bible quotes. He’s spent countless hours engaged in service work, from speaking at prisons to performing circumcisions in the Philippines; although we can only hope he’s more accurate with the knife than he is with the football. Ultimately, while he’s pretty much insufferable, he’s going to be a great Eagle Scout.

But nobody wants to be preached to by a 22-year-old during the most bombastic sports spectacle of the year, which has sparked part of the backlash against the 30-second advertisement, in which Tebow’s mom explains why she decided to go through with her pregnancy despite doctors suggesting otherwise (she had contracted an illness while pregnant with Tim that doctors feared could damage the fetus.)

The more vocal outcries, however, are coming from groups like NOW and abortion rights organizations, which see the ad as something a bit more sinister. And because it is sponsored by the conservative non-profit Focus on the Family, they may not be wholly off-base — although its anti-gay positions seem a bit more worrisome than the anti-abortion one.

But politics and big-time sports have been running dangerously close to each other for a few years now, and this ad shouldn’t be seen as groundbreaking. Remember, it was only two years ago when then-Sen. Obama bought local ad time in over 20 states during the Super Bowl to circumvent Fox’s refusal to run any political ads. And last year, fresh off his presidential victory, he appeared on the Super Bowl pre-game show. These may not be as controversial as a anti-abortion commercial, but then again, he’s not my president.

So to all those hesitant anti-abortioners, don’t worry too much. You’re not forcing God on anyone, you’re just following trends in Super Bowl advertising. If there’s any glaring mistake on your part, it’s picking the most annoying spokesperson since that Dell guy [Ed note: Seriously? This article proudly brought to you by jokesfrom1999.geocities.com.]

And for those of you enraged at the idea of a little politicking during The Who’s halftime break, just do your best to ignore it. Instead, you can spend that half-minute Shout-ing out the queso dip on your $200 replica jersey.

As for Tebow, the poor kid is probably just screwed. We love to whine about star athletes who refuse to use their fame to take social stances — Michael Jordan’s, “Republicans buy sneakers, too” was the most foolish thing The Great One said this side of “I think the Wizards are a strong organization” — yet, we refuse to embrace those who mix sports, politics and faith. Just ask Reggie White, Evander Holyfield or Kareem Abdul-Jabaar how easy it is to talk about Christ during a press conference.

However, if God is watching, and has a sense of humor, let’s hope they follow the anti-abortion ad with a Trojan spot. After all, had the Tebows followed their message, we wouldn’t be forced to have that conversation.

Sean Kittridge ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism and history.