Generally speaking, the book “Freakonomics” was an annoying cultural phenomenon that led to the glorification of Microsoft Excel’s regression function and an excess of unemployed economics majors. Five years ago I would be writing a Zachonomics column proving that meteor-thing last week was caused by Sean Kittridge’s column. Now, however, I would prefer to focus on the book’s chapter that looks into why people choose to pursue careers as drug dealers.

Using the power of analogy, the hierarchy of the drug-trading industry resembles that of many professions we consider legitimate. There are a few elite positions (drug lords) and significantly more low-level positions (dealers, hoppers) filled by aspiring kingpins. People choose to pursue careers such as these because the allure of the top positions blinds them to the miniscule odds of reaching elite status. Some obvious examples of professions that follow this model are athletics, show business and college newspaper punditry.

The drug trade analogy is also appropriate for professions such as law, high finance and Wall Street banking, although in a more elite form. I know what you’re thinking, and the answer is yes, at least the drug trade is regulated by Nate Dogg and Warren G. That said, whereas the drug trade has streams of inner-city youth shuffling through the corners, elite professions have well-connected but underpaid employees and interns hoping they can make the right moves on the way to the top.

The current structure of this system may change soon, as unpaid internships are now coming under fire from the Obama Administration’s Labor Department. Following the lead of Oregon and California, the law enforcement arm of the Labor Department is starting to investigate companies who misuse their unpaid interns.

Interns should be paid for menial work, but the real scandal is not interns emptying office trashcans. Most college students who can afford to take unpaid internships are probably financially OK. The bigger issue is more that the extensive system of unpaid internships exists at all.

Industries that make unpaid internships a de facto requirement for getting a post-graduation job are essentially propagating an elitist system that excludes a vast majority of even those who are lucky enough to attend college. Many college students cannot afford a summer working for no pay, and others lack the necessary connections to even be considered for such positions. The result is like a drug operation for elites, where the low-level interns risk paper cuts and not getting thrown in jail during their quest to climb the corporate ladder.

One defense of unpaid internships is the idyllic notion they provide an invaluable learning experience. I will admit that yes, students can learn work skills from a summer internship. However, a summer job lasts roughly three months. By the time a college graduate is depressed because his buddies are tailgating for Badger Football games, he already has more work experience than a summer intern. Internships prove initiative, but their work experience is largely overrated.

The “valuable work experience” card can be used to defend unpaid internships at elite institutions. However, this can just as easily be a convenient way of defending a system designed to allow a select few the opportunity to begin working up from the bottom. Internships are given to students from the best schools, and then after graduation, jobs are available for those who had the connections and means to work at the unpaid internships.

Just as the drug trade is bad for the streets of America’s cities, so too is a de facto system of corporate elitism. It could be argued that the elites play their game of running the world, and everyone else plays their Joe-Schmo game, but as the current financial crisis has shown, the elites do not always act with everyone’s best interest in mind.

It is not surprising that a system based on connections and expensive colleges would have different values than the rest of the country. Also, the nature of many elite positions, such as those on Wall Street, is that many well-connected people are pursuing a few positions that pay a heckuva lot of money. Those in the drug trade employ whatever means necessary to move up the organizational hierarchy, and there is no reason to believe the educated elite would not do the same. Only the elite are posturing to control non-trivial portions of the nation’s economy, not just a street corner or two.

Even if all elite institutions paid their interns, most positions would still be available only for the well-connected elite. However, the Labor Department’s crackdown on unpaid internships does provide a brief opportunity to think about the elite professional structures those unpaid interns are a part of, while providing this columnist the rare opportunity to compare elite lawyers and financiers to drug dealers.

Zachary Schuster ([email protected]) is a graduate student studying water resources engineering and water resource management. He is also a professor of Zachonomics.