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I hate Michigan

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At a press conference this week, a member of the Michigan media asked Wolverine outside linebacker and Wisconsin native John Spytek, “Do they like Michigan in Wisconsin?”

His response: “No, they really hate Michigan over there.”

Spytek knows it, you know it, I know it, even the media know it (why else would someone ask the question unless they knew the response was that yes, of course, they hate Michigan) — Badger fans hate Michigan.

So the real question is not if Michigan is hated, but why.

For starters, I hate Michigan just for being Michigan. At UW’s own press conference this week, Mark Anelli was asked what the big deal was with the Wolverines. His response: “They’re Michigan.”

Over the years Michigan has become the girl in high school that dated the quarterback, was homecoming queen and president of National Honor Society. The Wolverines are everything that Wisconsin wants to be and nothing that it is.

They win at everything — recruiting, games, national championships — and in the process their egos and “We’re Michigan, beat us if you can” attitude rakes all over the schools with lower winning percentages and less prestige, schools like Wisconsin.

And this isn’t even just a Wisconsin thing. Football fans all across the country hate Michigan. One of the biggest Pac-10 fans I know has an extreme hatred for the Wolverines. After every comment about college football, he adds in “But I can’t stand those Wolverines.”

It’s not the personnel that make up the Michigan squad that people hate, it’s the overall attitude that comes with being a part of that team. They know that they’re good this year, and they know they’re going to be good next year. Lose David Terrell and Drew Henson in the same year … no problem. UM will just have Marquise Walker step up and draw all kinds of national attention. Other teams can’t do that, at least not with that same amount of confidence.

But egos and bitterness aside, there are other reasons to hate Michigan. Take their school song for example. Just like Notre Dame, Michigan thinks “Hail to the Victors” is the greatest thing ever composed. You know what? It’s annoying.

While I can sing “Varsity” and enjoy UW’s “time-honored tradition” for a few minutes while it’s being sung, if I hear Michigan’s song even once, I will have it in my head all day. And then if you actually watch a Michigan game, you are guaranteed to have the fight song in your head for at least a week, as they play it as often as Penn State sounds off it’s annoying lion’s roar.

And as I discovered today, even Michigan’s official athletic web site can be added to the list of reasons to hate Michigan.

First of all, the address is www.mgoblue.com. That alone is annoying. The word “go” should never be included in a web site (Michigan is not the only school that has “go” in the address, by the way). But once I got past the web address and moved on to the contents of the page, I was even more disturbed.

The actual information on the page is very helpful — they even have a transcript of the week’s press conference from both coaches and players — but it’s the extra frills on the page that turned my stomach. Located on the left hand side is a little link for free Michigan e-cards. Out of curiosity and disturbance, I clicked on the link, and it brought me to a place where I could get a card of any one of the school’s major sports. But these were not the only categories.

In a different section were special occasion cards for Valentine’s Day, winter holidays, and coming soon, birthday cards. Seriously, a Michigan Valentine’s Day card? I viewed it, and it’s as cheesy as you’d imagine, with a little cupid wearing a Wolverine helmet.

But the point here is not the card — it’s the fact that Michigan thought they were good enough and important enough to have their own greeting cards.

But as Anelli said, “They’re Michigan.” The attitude has been formed and passed down through the years, and unfortunately, until Wisconsin and other Big Ten teams finally beat this team, the persona won’t change.