Now I'm all for a Kenny Rogers roast. Anytime that Rogers can get lit up for 10 runs, be suspended for being a jackass or even just slip on a banana peel, I'm all set to throw a party.

You see, the world right now is caught up in a Rogers love-fest because he has been outstanding for the "Cinderella" Tigers (since when is the best team in baseball through nine-tenths of the regular season a Cinderella squad?), not having given up a run in the month of October.

How soon we forget about Rogers going all Mike Tyson on two innocent cameramen last year just because he was having a bad day. Rogers was little more than a playground bully then, and the only thing worse than a bully is one who goes unpunished. Rogers was charged with assaulting the cameramen, but to this day, Rogers has only had to do a little bit of community service.

Meanwhile, Major League Baseball headman Bud Selig laid down the law, slapping Rogers with a 20-game suspension. But, not surprisingly, it was overturned on appeal, and Rogers ended up only missing two starts. Two starts off for the lowly Texas Rangers is a vacation, not a punishment.

So, watching Rogers get jacked up by Andruw Jones in the All-Star game he shouldn't have pitched in was glorious. Seeing him have to suffer through interview after interview he didn't want to be in made it Christmas every day.

So one might think I would be up in arms about Rogers' most recent controversy involving a foreign substance on his hand. But alas, as much as I loathe the man who gives a good fast food chicken restaurant a bad name, I can't.

The fact is it doesn't really matter if Rogers had pine tar, dirt, tobacco juice spittle or whatever on his hand. It really doesn't matter in baseball, and those involved are being hypocrites for making it out to be the biggest scandal since Woody Allen confused adoption and marriage.

Baseball is a game built around cheating. Baseball has always embraced cheating. Don't think so? Take a look over at Hall of Famer Gaylord Perry, who was so notorious for doctoring baseballs that he titled his autobiography "Me and the Spitter." He also reportedly approached Vaseline about endorsing their product.

Perry was a cheater, and a damn good one. Everyone knew Perry was throwing spitballs, but it wasn't until his 21st season of hawking lougies onto the rawhide that he was ejected from a contest.

Or what about stealing signs? It would be cheating for NFL teams to listen in on play calls ahead of time, so why when Ozzie Guillen's White Sox get ripped for stealing signs do people generally applaud the effort? It isn't easy to do, but that doesn't make it any fairer to the opponents. Despite being called out on it several times, Ozzie has never had to face any kind of reprimand or punishment for this version of "cheating."

And while I don't want to really go down the road of steroids, the fact is that Major League Baseball and its officials turned their heads and ignored an obvious problem until it became a PR issue. Then they condemned it, to save money, not to save the dignity of the sport.

There are countless other instances of cheating being applauded in baseball. Such as the 2003 Marlins growing out their infield grass to help Juan Pierre and Luis Castillo bunt better. Meanwhile, pitchers around the league will tell you that no two mounds are the same height, with Cincinnati's resembling a mole hill and the old Veteran's Stadium looking like a podium.

There are the doctoring of balls in Colorado and George Brett's pine tar incident, which is viewed as little more than a moment of comic relief these days. Never mind that you could probably find ten players in every dugout with bats lathered up even more than Brett's. Ty Cobb used to sharpen his cleats so he could strike fear into opposing players when sliding in spikes up.

Hell, the sexiest component of base running in baseball is stealing. Stealing is usually not considered a very nice or fair thing to do and only in baseball is a head start allowed as runners lead off a bag.

Baseball has been a cheater's sport throughout its history, so just why should the World Series be any different? I hate Kenny Rogers and I hope he loses the series by giving up six straight grand slams, but even if he was cheating, it's the Cardinals job to catch him.

And if you want any more damning proof that cheating is embraced in baseball, look no further than what would've happened to Rogers if he were caught red (or in this case, brown) handed. He would've been ejected and the game would've just continued.

It's not really cheating if the score isn't washed away.

I'm not saying to back off Rogers. Please, don't do that. Send more hate mail — I know I will. So, don't get all righteous about how Rogers is compromising the integrity of the game right now. He already did that last year and got away with it.

Dave is a senior double majoring in English and journalism. For any questions or comments, you can reach him at [email protected]